OMG

If you've ever worked in print or graphic arts, this may be the funniest thing you will see all month. And if you haven't...well...it uh...won't

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I'm voting for THIS GUY

No, not that one...

This guy.

And I'm not really voting for him, I'm sending him $10. But if if I could vote for him, I would.

Catching my breath

The Bag End bash went of pretty damn well. Well, except for the torrential rainstorm that hit mid way through the day while we tried to play frisbee hack. But the weather soon cleared up and we were able to hack frisbees as well as enjoy the fireworks.

I want to thank everyone for coming over and bringing such great food. It was great to see some friends that I haven't seen in quite a while.

Just before the party my Dad came for his annual visit. This was canceled last year when he broke his neck in an accident. I am happy to report that he again rode him Honda PC800 down from Boston without too much trouble. Grimm was also in town building a trailer for Pennsic and even Ander came by to work on a camp chair.

No rest for the wicked though. It was off to Columbus for Origins Gaming convention (during which Wellington got a metric ASSLOAD of rain. Our house was fine but there are signs of the storm all around.

Back at home we only had a short rest before heading out to Geneva to prepare for the Great Lakes Medieval Faire. It was a frenzied 2 days of painting, cleaning, planting and more. Our new booth now has a proper changing room, a real storage area and a fresh coat of paint. All in all, it looks remarkably the same. This was a rather disappointing realization, but everything behind the scenes is in much better shape now.

The show opens this weekend and there a lot of activity on the site. Apparently Larry, the owner of the show bought out a lot of equipment from the now defunct Geuoga Lake amusement park. There was even a rumor he was building a roller coaster (Thanks god that wasn't true.) We didn't have time to look around, maybe tomorrow when we start setting up and primping the booth.

Par-tay!

The date for the Bag End Bash has been set! June 21st starting at around noon or so. I have sent out evites, but my email list may be out of date. If you know me and didn't get an evite you are still very much invited. I am not sending out physical invitations this year. It's just too expensive. I am hoping that this won't affect attendance.

We are planning on setting up the archery range as well as playing Frisbee hack. I might set up a croquet pitch as well. We will supply basic meats and drinks, please bring supplemental food, side dishes and maybe a dessert (cough*pie*cough) . I hope to have the custard machine again thanks to Lindsey.

It's possible that there will be a rack of corsets (some of them made with our amazing new exclusive materials) set up in the garage, but the would merely be a coincidence.

Want to fish? Sure thing. We may even have the remote control Pirate ships available. Want to slack off? Try the hammock.

Need crash space? Contact us ASAP. In house room is usually limited though tent space is plentiful.

Death and Funk

The phone rang too early.

"Hello?" I asked blearily.

"You're working Maron this weekend, right? In Columbus?" a voice asked.

"Yeah."

"I thought you should know that your Guest of Honor, Robert Asprin just died."

"Swell."

It never bodes well when a conventions guest of honor passes away expectantly. I wasn't a rabid far but I did enjoy his written work and always planned on reading more some time. And now? Well, the show goes on...

Lindsey and I went to load the car and the moment we opened the door to the van I knew something was wrong. The van reeked of death.

Something much have carwled up into so inaccessable hole and died. Fabreeze did almost nothing. Death weas everywhere. Not a good sign.

There was no time to investigate, we loaded up and drove down to Columbus with the windows open.

Marcon is one of the VERY few shows that is run by pretty damn competent trained monkeys. This is in stark contrast to the majority of shows, conventions and even Ren Faires we do over the course of the year. They do not loose paperwork. They send you a map of where the loading dock is. They help you unload!!!! And when you're set up? They offer free soda and cookies. Really. For this I and the rest of my fellow godless capitallists are eternally grateful.

The crowd was looking a bit thin at the start of things. I mean almost scarce. There are always theories for this. The economy, gas prices, competing events. We merchants are great at determining reasons why the hall isn't packed like it used to be. But that didn't mattter. Once the doors opened we started moving corsets. And with the influx of people comes the usual cast of 'colorful' characters.

Charly is what many long time con-goers would call a 'creepy camera guy'. Short, heavy-set, thick glasses and thin mustach. He is constantly taking pictures, usually of women. I used to avoid him if at all possible. He didn't seem to hang with any of the social groups that I did. But Rossana is a kinder soul than I and a better judge of character. She talked with him and then I got to talking with him a few years back. Now he shows up with stacks of prints which he gives away for free to people he photographed the previous year. He's no Ansel Adams, but he's actually a pretty nice guy. Last year the day after the con he was nearly killed when a kid with no license and no insurance crashed into him while he was riding his bike (he doesn't have a car). I was taken alittle aback. Marcon without Charley wouldn't feel right.

Not long after another friend I haven't seen in quite a while stopped by. His story was even wierder. It seems that he, after studying for and obtaining his conceal carry gun permit, had purchased a handgun several onths back. He bought the gun at about 11am. What happened next is a little unclear. But he somehow managed to take the loaded weapon and for reasons known only to him, went to tuck it between his legs. In doing this he somehow cocked the gun, and then discharged it. He shot himself in the leg at about 4pm, five hours after getting the gun. Luckily he missed his ding-ding and the femoral artery. It was a clean through and through. He drove himself to the hospital. He's had some legal troubles as a result, which strangely enough would have been far worse if he hadn't gotten his conceal carry permit. This was why I hadn;t heard from him in a while.

By the end of the day I was feeling dizzy from the wierdness that pervaded the air. Rossana turned in but Lindsey and I were restless. We hit a room party on the fifth floor of the Hyatt Regency. This is the floor specifically set aside for parties. This is where many of the legendary U.B.S. Casual Star Trek themed parties took place. Parties that would generate so much body hear and funk that the fire alarms often went off. The party we attended was thrown by a fellow merchant and wasn't too big. I helped serve drinks a while before I had to get out. Hotel room air conditioners simply cannot handle 20 people in them at the same time. I needed air.

I took up position in the celebrity autograph area which was empty at that late hour. I used a crayon to make two signs "Free Advice" and "Free Insults". This kept us busy for a while and even earned me a $5 tip.

We wrapped things up Sunday and drove home bone tired, the van still smelling of death, but it didn't matter. We were alive, our friends were still alive. That was the important thing.

When you need a slushie yesterday...

How is this for a cool concept. A faux store with a time travel theme! It appears that money raised form the sale of things like "Barbarian Repellent" and "Robot Cow Milk" goes to support a non-profit tutoring and writing center.


This is the kind of thing that I could SO get behind. We need more coolness like this in the world.

Obey the Kitteh

The glorious revolution and it's leader will crush the running dogs of the west.



And then play with the toy mousy and take a nap. Get the shirts and schwag here, (they also have dog stuff too, if you're into that sort of thing.

Giggle

If you haven't bookmarked Wondermark I have no idea what you are waiting for. It's f-ing hilarious. If you're into laughing, you may also want to check out Married to the Sea, which is also hilarious, although the language and humor is rougher. A small sample:


marriedtothesea.com

Awesome Disclaimer...

Really, you need to read it for yourself.

The Ho-ho-horror

This has to be one of the best claymation parodies ever. It combines Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and Apocalypse Now. Really. It is a warped bit of genius.





On a side note- Back in Jr. High this film was some kind of fixation for me. I remember my friends and I had a tape recording of it and we could recite most of the movie from memory.

Just got back from a wake...

But this was a fun one. My friend Duffy has a rare form of Anemia and wasn't expected to live much beyond 21. Well she's in her late 30's now and to celebrate another year thumbing her nose at the Grim Reaper she has a great party/wake. I guess her thinking is, why wait until you're dead to have a great party?

This year's theme was Harry Potter. I was surprised at the number of people who came in costume bearing wands, household ties and other props. Duffy and Jesse came as member sof house Sparklypoo. Go look it up, it's kind of funny of you know anything about fanboyism.

Ed as Hagrid (or maybe just a filthy hippie)

Me as Professor Catwhacker (potions) and Professor Fifi La rue (Defense against the Fark Arts by kicking it in the balls and then breaking its nose)

Holly and Myron. I love the idea of Harry Potter entering the workforce and swapping out his wand for an extending pointer with a bottle opener.

Cat as the flying instructor (forget the name at the moment) This was a great costume.

I present to you..

Mr. and Mrs. Holiday! That's the new name and I rather like it. It will take a while to get used to. Goodman has been just Goodman for so long that he has entered the one-name celebrity circle, like Cher or Bono.

The wedding went off without any real hitches. There was a part in the ceremony where the parents stood and gave their blessings but in all the excitement leading up to the event kelly and Good forgot to actually tell the parents this. Luckily they had a pro at the wheel (cough me cough) and we smoothly got the parents to give their hearty blessings without missing a beat. The ceremony even had a small part for Hanah, Kellys daughter, who seems to dig Goodman and the feeling is mutual. I will have pics soon from family as I took none of my own. It was a very fun wedding. The laser tag contest to determine the best man was a blast. I am proud to say that I took second place. All those days I spent playing Photon in my youth were not wasted.

The pizza place/arcade/go cart/laser tag place was pretty cool and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves tremendously. Sometimes adults don't play enough. I got Rossana to play a samurai sword fighting game that uses a virtual sword you really swing and she rocked on it.

After the ceremony I signed the marriage certificate. As I had registered with the Universal Life Church so that my job as minister would be legit, I took great and wicked delight as listing my title as "The Right Revered Steven Pack". You may feel free to address me by this title when you see me, but I insist you say it correctly, loudly and with a slight southern accent.

I also hope to post a copy of the wedding program which is one of the funniest reads I have had in a while.

The Big Day...

Arrived in Austin late but without incident. The parents made it, friends and family gathering for the big day. But today was pretty relaxed. We slept in, then took a walk down to the trendy 6th street. The weather is mild and the city is pretty damn cool. It also has a sense of humor about itself with restaurants that proclaim "Free straw with every beverage" and "It's only binge drinking if you stop".

There's a new Alamo Drafthouse theater that just opened not far away. It's a kick ass concept. Show cool movies AND take out every other row of seats and put in a bench like table and serve food. Brilliant. I wish we had something like this back in Cleveland.

My luggage was not lost (hurrah) and the wedding ceremony has been tweaked and finalized. In the last update I learned my brothers new last name. (He's simply been "Goodman" for about 15 years or so) At about 4pm today my Brother and his wife will be Mr and Mrs....

Nah, I won't spoil it.

Besides, I wouldn't put it past my brother to put out incorrect details to throw off the press. Tune in later for all the fun details.

My Mornings

This video clearly illustrates the morning routine of our "pet" known as The Great Cat of Reh (or "Ray" for short). Thanks to Grisette for sending me this!

Super Awesome

If you are a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (and who amongst us isn't?) You will be delighted to know that the guys behind this great show are back at it. Rifftrax.com sells downloadable audio tracks that you can play along with your favorite new DVD movie release. Of course, newer movies tend to not such as much as the gems on MST3K but not by much. At $3 -$4 it's a cheap way to liven up your next movie night.

Monday morning chuckle

Wow, another weekend working in an oven at O-Ren. Checking the calender I see that it is FUCKING OCTOBER. What the hell gives? We should be shoveling snow out of the front of our booth by now. At least this weekend we kicked mighty ass. Any way, for your Monday morning pleasure I give you the List of the 9 Most Manly Names.

One name not on the list is Magnus Pyke. Don't recognize the name? It the old scientist looking guy who appears in Thomas Dolby's "She blinded me with science". He just happens to have been an actual scientist. That's pretty freakin' cool.

Strange on many levels...

I kid you not. Here is a link to a flickr photo set of the annual Furries vs. Trekkers bowling match.

God I love the British

Not physically, of course. Their teeth scare me. But their sense of humor is just great and I enjoy fast paced work like this:


And if you like that, head over to fullyramblomatic.com for more of the same.

In hindsite...

I have read on the internets that Daniel Radcliffe (He who is Harry Potter) will turn 18 this month and when he does, he will obtain control of $40 million dollars.

Wow. I was, you know, going to get him a card...or something but uh...

Anyway. I can only hope that Mr. Radcliff will have wise and helpful hands to guide him away from the kinds of temptations $40 MILLION can buy. I am tempted to look back at my life and wonder what I might have done with $40 million when I was 18 and am forced to conclude that I would have no freakin clue. I would likely have saved some of it, but there would be some pretty large purchases that I would be regretting about now.

Like the full sized millenium falcon in my back yard, or the Hoth Base (complete with Imperial walkers) I built in Norway. Or perhaps the strip club with a Star Trek theme. The possibilities are endless.

What would you regret having bought or done with if you'd been given $40 million on your 18th birthday? And if you say "I would have invested it all in a broad range of well managed blah blah blah: you're LYING.

Geeky

I was poking around youtube when I came across this. If you understand this bit, congratulations, you are a full blooded geek.

Ta Da!!!!!!

The party went pretty damn well. Good weather, maybe too good. A bit warm for all. Many huddled under the new roof chowing down on the amazing amount of food that was available. We got a lot of compliments about the new roof and stucco.

As always, there wasn't enough time to sit and talk with anyone at any length. And there were a lot of people. I got to try a friends new bow, very nice. Alas, I didn't have a string for the crossbow I got on ebay. Frisbee hack had a few new twists this year, and once again, no one cut their own head off. I had hoped to have fighting radio controlled Pirate ships but only one was ready. Maybe next year.

The record for longest distance travelled to attend was 1160 miles by Ms Aleta who narrowly beat out my long time friend Jim Taber who came 1158 miles. I need to find some friends in the UK. That was this can be "An International Party".

The fireworks.... well, what can be said. We got a lot of them. Maybe too many. This was supplemented by my friend Travis. As always, safety was the watchword. (Stop snickering) Last years theme was "The Polish Space program" this year? "Here, hold my beer".

So loud and so large was the display, that we actually had a neighbor complain about it. Luckily I have 'people' to handle such annoying persons. He threatened to call the police . We calmly informed him that it was only 9:30 at night and that we had a licenced, trained pyrotechnition on hand and that the show would be over soon. Some of those statements were actually true.

What was really cool was the clean up crews that picked up the trash and helped clean up the fireworks debris.Very cool. It made Sunday's clean up much easier. People were also very generous with donations to help defray the cost of the fireworks. Thanks guys.

If anyone has any pics (As I once again too none) please email them to me. I'll throw up a gallery for them.

If you missed the party, it sucks to be you. You missed a great shindig. If you didn't get an invite, I apologize. I try to exclude no one. Send me your email and snail mail address for next year.

Wow

This is pretty impressive. Super detailed doll house scale model of Bag End. Sweet. The pictures are pretty big and there are a lot of them, low bandwidth visitors beware. Go check it out!

More gooder...

Remember that blasphemous video "PG-13 300"? Well there's something even gooder now. Flight 300

I really give it to these guys. A lot of work went into this.

Chair Day!

The event went off pretty well. There were about 10 of us cutting, ripping, routing, chiseling you name it. We put in a solid day and got 8 chairs cut and test assembled. We couldn't get them finished and stained, we simply ran out of energy and time. With one more work day we can get these done and I know they will look great. The days of ugly Wal-Mart chairs in our camp are numbered.

Here are pics of the event.

Good touching

I can't make this stuff up. Thanks to Monkey over at HappyBubble.com

I give you: Busty Mouse Pads

A picture is worth...

This was posted in a comment threat over at Fark.com and I just had to pass it on:

Kittah!

This is the kind of responsible behavior I think we can all approve of. Cats using public transport.

Pirate Season

As Rossana and I loaded the van with stock, racks, dress forms and other sales gear something kept niggling at the back of my mind. Like I was forgetting something.

"I feel like I'm forgetting something dear." I said to my lovely wife.

"Well, you're wearing pants, so you're ahead of the game today".

"True, so it must be something else."

My eyes wandered over to the pond and suddenly I had it. I ran downstairs and checked my Outlook calendar.

"Sweet Blackbeard's ghost! It's the first day of Pirate season!"

Why hadn't I realised it sooner? I immediately eschewed my duties and ran to get my Pirate ship. And after a few minutes of struggling to install batteries I skipped (yes, I skipped) down to the pond.

Behold, the maiden voyage of The Spanish Harlot.




She's a beauty. I tested one of the other ships, but one of the propellers doesn't go forward. I may have to operate. I haven't tested the third yet. And I still have to find a way to change the frequency they use so they don't conflict. But for today it was a shakedown cruise and a chance to scare the fish.

Since I likely won't have time enough to develop actual firing cannons, I'm thinking of having a sort of obstacle course/race at the next Bag End party. Captains will need to steer their ships through a set of buoys, dock at certain islands and avoid cannon fire from shore. I am beyond geeked.

Free Hugs

I do not like sappy shit. When people send me chain letters with hearts and unicorns and butterflies that shit gets deleted. Well, most of the time.

Then I found this video on Youtube. If you aren't smiling like an idiot by the end you are a heartless troll and should just die now. Some acts are so simple and pure and yet can have a kind of ripple effect on the world. This is one of them.

This is CAKE TOWN!!!

This had GOT to be the funniest thing I have seen in a while. (I know, I keep saying that). I present to you "300-The PG version"



My wife literally called it 'blasphemy'.

Funniest video EVAR

If you're not familiar with the British show Top Gear you are really missing something. Alas, I can;t get it here but thanks to youtube some of the best of it is available to all.

WTF??

For those of you who do not yet know of Wikipedia (all three of you) I urge you to visit the site and then bookmark it. It is a great resource for all manner of information. Editable by all, constantly growing thanks to user contribution and available in several languages.

But there is a dark side to Wikipedia. As Stephen Colbert once said "Facts have a well known liberal bias". So some creative people have make Conservapedia. It's like Wikipedia, but without all the whacko, liberal, fact-checking hippies.

There's little I can add to this review by, of all people, a conservative. It'll give you a good chuckle. And if you're really brave, go take a look at the site for yourself. I did. Check out this tidbit about kangaroos:

Like all modern animals, modern kangaroos originated in the Middle East^[1] and are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah's Ark prior to the Great Flood.

Wow.

Sheer Joy

You should go and view this short called "The Grandfather of Soul". I'm not going to tell you anything about it. It's short and very sweet. Pass the link on to your friends.

Sheer Evil Joy

I have been busy working on a few projects in the shop. Nothing to show yet as the first iteration is mostly a prototype (although the results are good so far).

Anyway in doing some research I came across the fantastic website of Doctor Steel, a mad scientist and musician. I highly encourage you to check out his Delicious site, which is filled with all kinds of evil World Domination Toys. You can view clips of his live shows, which don't just look cool, but sound cool. Poke around and you will find very funny animations in the lab, a web store (of course) Dr. Steel's personal computer (which works) and a lot more! I feel I will soon be purchasing some of his music through the tubes of the Interon.

It's a filthy lie!

This following video is NOT of me. At no time have I ever attempted to affix coke cans to my head. This I swear. This is not me.

Back in the saddle

It's been a while since my last website design gig. And to tell the truth, I am somewhat limited by the constraints of an ecommerce site. Things need to be a certain way, which limits the creativity a bit.

Luckily I've just picked up a new client and this site doesn't have to sell anything. This gives me the freedom to create something nice looking. Dare I say... artistic? The contract hasn't even been signed yet and I am already in photoshop sketching up ideas. It feels good.

Calls for cthulu

This is some funny-ass Elder god shit.