Off on adventure!

Thursday Rossana and I depart on our latest adventure. Despite all of our planning there are a few unanswered questions and we have no idea how it will turn out. But that's half the fun, isn't it? For this trip, we are returning to a place dear to my heart. Venice! From the moment I stepped foot in Venice years ago I fell in love with it. And I wondered what it would be like to be there during Carnival and dreamed of attending a masked ball in one of the palaces that line the Grand Canal. Come Friday I will wonder no more.

That's right, we're going to a masked ball! I am, to put it bluntly, beyond geeked. Rossana has been working on her outfit for months. The last few pieces of my outfit have arrived. Next Saturday we will enter the Zenobio Palace for the Casanova Ball; Night of the Masked Porters.

For those who are unfamiliar, Venice was for centuries the party capitol of Europe. Tales of the republics decadence are legendary. At one point Napoleon tried to put a cap on it, as three months of the year and a significant portion of the GDP were being poured into this event. Eventually, Mussolini banned it outright. But Venice would not be denied, and the Grand Celebrations have returned.

There are many events scheduled during the two weeks of Carnival (Or Mardi Gras as its known here). Parades, performances, concerts, operas and of course the Masked Balls. These recall a time when much of Venice wore masks in everyday life. Powerful and well connected men and women conducted their affairs in anonymity. Gambling, attending the theater with one's mistress... If no one knows who you are who can forbid you?

The largest events are the Dogaressa Ball, the Masherenda and the Casanova Ball at the Zenobio. Each event is held in a building dating back at least to the 16th Century. All attendees must wear historical costume. No Ghost Busters or Start Trek outfits here. The costume shops of Venice produce some of the most amazing outfits I have ever seen. And the price is quite high to rent them. This is where Rossana's skills and the kindness of several friends comes in. I am indebted to Mr. Weaver of Authentic Wardrobe for supplying me with a stunning jacket and waistcoat. Blonde Swan hats is making a tri-corn hat for me. The other parts have been make by Rossana and gathered from online and local resources.

For a while, it looked like we wouldn't be attending at all. Last season was somewhat crappy but we managed to pull a few good weekends near the end. Then there was the problem of getting tickets. Rossana tried no less than 5 times to purchase tickets. Each time she was thwarted by a crappy website, a payment system in German and finally Uncle Sam demanding to know every detail of our foreign bank transfer. Several skype calls were placed to make sure we were on the guest list and the apologetic hosts have assured us the various fees we incurred will be refunded and a lovely bottle of Champaign will be presented for our inconvenience. This is all well and good. But it is Monday and the tickets have not yet arrived in the mail. Using google Earth I have found a wall near the back of the Palace. Should things go pear shaped, I am pretty sure we can scale it and gain entrance to the event in a surreptitious manner.

It's been quite a while since I've been to a party, let alone a masked ball. The party doesn't start until 9 and goes (I am told) until dawn. We shall see how long we can endure. There will be performers of all types, much food and drink, dancing (with instruction by a classic dance master). There may also be fireworks!

Alas, our stay in Venice will be a short one. The weather at this time of the year is dreadful and the city is filled with tourists. So not long after the party we fly to the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan. We've found a tour that will explore Petra and several crusader era castles along with the Dead Sea. It will be quite a change from the decadence of Venice. Is it safe? Well, Jordan does border Iraq in the Al-Anbar province as well as Syria and Israel. But Jordan is a strong US supporter and a pretty stable constitutional monarchy. The State department has no serious red flags as of this writing but who can say.

I will post Facebook and blog posts as internet access allows. I will be taking a crapload of pictures. The party itself is lit by candle light. I don't know how well any shots will come out but I will do my best.

It is done!

At long last my secret project has come to fruition! Announcing the Mark 1 Brass Goggles. I'll be selling these things over at my website www.got-steam.com

This represents about 2 months of solid work. It was also a great learning experience. I displayed these at ChattaCon and have already sold a few pair. They are indeed pricey, but I think there is a market for a pair of high end brass goggles in the steampunk community.

Something in my eye...

There are times that I am truly cynical. That I loose much of my faith in mankind. War, disease, hatred. It seems that there is a never ending supply of misery dispensed by my fellow howling monkeys.

Then I see something like this and I smile. And laugh. I remember that we sometimes aren't complete assholes. Sometimes we do nice things for people we don't even know.

Pioneers...

If you have a television you may have seen this Levi's commercial:

While I am not what one could call a devotee of poetry I knew this wasn't written by some agency hack. It's Walt Whitman and you can find it here. It's good stuff. Apparently Levi-Strauss has a kind of scavenger hunt associated with this add campaign. It led to $100,000. It would have been nice if they had told someone about this contest. Just throwing a website at us means little in this age of constant advertising bombardment.

But I'm okay with having gotten a great poem out of it.

Bonus- The other commercial in this series features the voice Walt Whitman reading his poem "America"from a wax cylinder. It's both sweet and haunting.

Pure Awesome...

I don't know who was responsible for this. But they are my hero. This isn't the product of some one being lazy. This took work and a lot of love. If you don't know the inspiration for this, you are likely under 30. And that's a shame.

What the hell???

Why the !@#$ have I just learned about this NOW???

http://blogs.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/synthful/post-apocalyptic-party-road-wa/index.php

http://www.laweekly.com/slideshow/view/28836900

I could have RULED Bartertown.

Goddammit.

I'm going... into the clouuuuuuuuuud...

Last week my desktop stopped working. Most likely the power supply is starting to go. Although my data was not damaged I couldn't get to it for a few days. Yes, I have a portable hard drive I use for backups but my most recent emails and most recently created files weren't available. I also couldn't write checks using my accounting program.

That sucked.

So I started working on ways to get my important and current data on the cloud (storing it on the internet). My upstream speed isn't fast enough to do total backups on line unless I want to leave my system on all night (I don't) and I don't need everything, just some important files that are constantly being updated. My first attempt? Dropbox. This is a nifty little app. You get 2GB free. Install it on two computers, save or drop any file in a special folder and BAM it gets synched. It also saves older versions in case you delete something at home. You can even have a public folder that anyone can see without a password. Cool.

So far, so good, but I like to keep minimal sensitive data on my laptop. I don't store passwords or important work files on it in case it gets stolen. Dropbox, however, is quite happy to copy important files right to my laptop including stuff I dont want everyone in the world to see.

There are two options;
1) don't install the app on my laptop and access my info through their website using a username and password.

2) Encryption. I can use TrueCrypt to encrypt any sensitive files so that even if they are on my laptop, they are protected.

The first option is easiest. Drawbacks? What if dropbox hands over my data to the gubment? (I'm looking at you phone companies, this has happened before) I also loose the helpful feature of simple synchronization. If I download an important file and alter it, I have to then upload it and then delete it locally. Annoying. With synch, if I am writing a story on one system, the latest version will automatically me available on the other, which is neat.

With encryption, I have to go through a setup process with TrueCrypt which basically creates a single size file. Down side? That whole file has to get synched each time I change it, even a small change. Upside? Available even if I don't have a net connection.

I am going to go for the second option for now. Test it and see how it works. Again, I can't store everything online, but in the event something goes very wrong, I will be able to get up and running on another system quickly. And of course, there's an iphone app that lets me access the non encrypted stuff as well. Sweet. I'm off... into the clouuuuuuuuud

Have any of you flirted with this idea? Anyone else getting rid of software installed on their computer and instead use web apps? Post in comments.

Shock the monkey...

Back in 1984 or so I picked up a cassette sitting on a table in the audio/video department at Bay High School. It belonged to a tech guy who worked part time for the school. It was marked "Peter Gabriel-Live". I popped it into a cheap cassette player, put on a pair of craptastic headphones and proceeded to have my mind absolutely blown.

The music was unlike anything I had ever heard before. It sure as hell wasn't Pink Floyd or pop music. It was something mesmerizing, haunting. From the first track (The Rhythm of the heat) to the desolate and sad "Biko". I listened to it over and over. One of the first CD's I ever owned was Peter Gabriel and when I got to hear his music on a semi-good system it blew my mind all over again.

You might know his more popular tunes Shock the Monkey, Salisbury Hill or Sledgehammer. But you owe it to yourself to listen to some of his other works. He did the soundtrack for The Last Temptation of Christ and is a central part of Real World studios.

A while back he provided the source track to some of his songs and invited to people to remix them as they wished. The results were pretty cool. You can listed to a warped but very cool version of Shock the Monkey here:

Watch this...

Eating Elizabethan for a week. Absolutely awesome.

Sweet tee's

If you're looking for a nice t-shirt based on your fav movie take a click over to Last Exit to Nowhere. There are some nice designs there for logo junkies like myself.


Via BoingBoing.net

More clever monkeys

Ok, I'm gonna need someone to take my wallet for a few weeks so I cannot order this thing. I mean, a working tricorder media player? For $350? Dammit! This is the kind of thing I would have given my left nut for a back in my more fervent fanboy days. And now that I'm a "responsible" adult I'm supposed to 'just say no'? Fuck that!

Okay... deep breath. As long as I don't ever actually touch one in person I should be safe.

Maybe.

Jesus Christ it's a Lion! Get in the car!

There was no greater genius than DaVinci. And this shit right here proves it.

I am not a number.. I am a free man!

It was many years ago that I first heard the original BBC show 'The Prisoner'. I say heard, not saw. My brother recorded them and played them for me when he visited. (No VCR, No tivo in those ancient times) It was a trippy show. Even more so when I actually got to see it. And the ending? Pure madness.

Now it's being redone. But from what I can see, it looks and FEELS just as whacked out (if not more so) than the original. Behold.

Joy

This upcoming Pennsic will mark my 10 year anniversary. I enjoyed my own wedding. I enjoyed having my family come and play with us a little while. I enjoyed creating my own service, not going into debt or having to rent a church/hall/limo, I loved having chicken wings and having Pennsic as our reception.

Weddings can be a source of joy, and I am all for anything that brings joy into the world. So with that in mind here is a great wedding procession/dance number.

Playing hookey

I looked out at the deck. It sat there, mocking me in its ugliness.

"You'll never get rid of me" it said. "There will always be more pressing projects."

"But I hate you." I said to the wood and brick monstrosity.

"I know, but it's too late to do anything this summer anyway. You open Great Lakes in a weeeeeeeek" it hissed at me.

And then I got the crowbar and screw gun.

In a couple of hours the railing was gone and I was working on the flooring. But the weather kept threatening rain. Also, tearing out the deck turned out to be...you know...work.

"We need to get out of here!" I said.

"Are you talking to me or the deck this time?" my wife asked.

"What? You, of course. Pack a bag. We're leaving."

And so we did. We grabbed our passports, some money and a change of clothes and took off for Niagara Falls. It's been many years since my last visit and I've never done a lot of the touristy things there. That was about to change. We took the more western Peace bridge and sailed through customs. Then we drove along the lovely Niagara Parkway. Once we hit the town we parked and set off for adventure. We rode the Maid of the Mist, which was awesome. In the morning we drove North into wine country. We visited a butterfly conservatory, a printing museum, bought some fresh cherries and indulged a dream of mine, a helicopter trip.

You know how I've blabbed that I wouldn't have a problem sitting next to a 'brown person' on an airplane because fear mongering in stupid? Well, I got the chance to put my money where my mouth was.

It seems a nice Muslim family wanted to take a helicopter ride. Ok. Cool. But then the men didn't want to go along. Just the wives (wearing burkas) and kids. Ooookay. Then the fuss started. You see, any time you go to an attraction at Niagara Falls, someone will snap your picture for the inevitable souvenir photo at the end. I knew this wasn't going to go well. The dutifull young woman tried to take shots of all of us and the women kept trying to tell her that they DID NOT want their picture taken. It was, in a word, awkward. Once the copter arrived we piled in. Strangely, they put one of the mothers in the front next to the pilot, and me, Rossana, the other mom and the two kids in the back. Why not keep that group together? Why not put the one male adult in the front? I don't know and there was no chance to debate when there are whiling blades of death above you.

Off we go, and it was AWESOME. I took some video with the new phone which I'll post soon. It was a trip flying high above the Falls. The helicopter was buffeted a little by the winds which gave it that slight roller coaster feeling. I can't tell of the ladies enjoyed the trip, and the one little boy sitting across from me spent most of the trip eyeballing ME as if I might do something crazy.

We crossed over to the American side and parked on Goat Island. I wanted to visit the cave of the winds (where you walk right up to the bottom of the waterfall and can also go behind it. But the wait was between 2-3 hours. Fail.

We strolled to the Amercian and Horseshoe edges before deciding to head home (with a quick stop to the Anchor Bar in Buffalo for some take out wings, of course).

I'm glad we took the trip, it's our last chance before the season starts and it's all work.

Update! Pics are Here.

I am a huuuuug dork.

Of this there can be doubt. The proof? Check out 8 things you didn't know about the Enterprise. But this is not enough. Have an article on the Smithsonian restoration of the original 11 foot prop. Need more? Here are detailed pics of another restoration (there have been three)

Robots

Here are some pics of Robots at MegaCon.

Blogging from a small town - Albino Squirrels

I ran some errands in the "Big City" today. That means Oberlin. And as I crossed the town square I ran across one of Oberlin's more odd inhabitants. A white (or albino) squirrel.



Apparently these little guys are well known. Some people have traveled from foreign lands to see these guys. They are indeed white. It seems that due to feeding by locals a trait that would normally take these little guys out of the gene pool pretty quick has allowed them to thrive. There are still plenty of brown and grey squirrels. But I bet the white guys get hit by cars a lot less. Maybe that shows that they are evolving. Blending in with the environment is not as important as not being hit by cars. Hmmm..

Soooooooo freakin cool - A windmill

Check out this video and then try this for yourself here.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

More proof!

Very cool...

I would totally do this if i were a crazy rich person.

Lovely...

It's been a while since I had to make a flowchart. I made quite a few in my Corporate days. Some I did in Corel Draw, others in Microsoft Powerpoint. But the process was always ugly and required a lot of work.

Well no more! There a FREE online flowchart program online called Lovely Charts. I used it to diagram the convoluted system I had to develop to get internet and VOIP phone working in my home. It takes no time to pick up how the system works and it has a lot of pre-made objects (like networking icons). I only wish they had more objects to work with, but hey, it's free.

And if you're curious what the network looks like that makes Bag End function you can see my kick-ass diagram here (click to embiggen):

Free at last...free at last...

A few weeks ago I hooked up the new Ooma equipment and tested it out. When I was satisfied that it could workI disconnected it and went forward with porting my number (which takes 7-10 days) so that I could cancel my Verizon (local) and AT&T (long distance) services which have been like a repetitive series of kicks to my groin over the years.

When the email came through I hooked up the equipment again, bought a new cordless phone set and crossed my fingers. While the system worked I wanted to report to you on how well it works. So far its been pretty good. The only difference from the old system is that when you pick up the phone there is a brief chime. Also, calling numbers in another area code required you to push 1 first. Once you are talking, there is a short delay between when something is spoken and when the other party hears it. About a half second. Call sound quality has been mixed. Yesterday my brother called and some of his words were garbled or washed out, but he was on his cell phone, which may have had an effect. When I spoke to my Dad in Massachusetts on his land line it was crystal clear.

The system comes with caller I.D. and my new cordless phones can actually tell you who is calling using this information. Very cool. Both the cordless handset and Ooma have a blacklist feature so you can block calls from certain numbers. This is an AWESOME feature. I used to get three calls a day from satellite tv companies and 4 or 5 from call warrantee companies. This has gone waaaaay down. The Ooma works like a regular answering machine except I can get my messages on line when I am traveling. Nice. To call internationally you have to buy credits, but I don't call internationally very often so I haven't tested this out yet. There are extra features available, like a second line and other goodies if you want to pay about $14 a month.

The old cordless phones, which were showing their age, will be put in the garage and the shop respectively so I can finally get calls there.

The best part? No more local or long distance charges EVAR. Ooma is a one time cost. Do you hear that Verizon?? Huh? Do you know how good if felt to tell AT&T to die in a fire? It felt AWESOME.

Looking for a job?

We just finished ChattaCon, which wasn't gangbusters but it did make a profit and get us into the selling mood. While driving home Rossana and I discussed an idea we've kicked around before of bringing in another sales person to handle shows that we can't get to for whatever reason.

So here it is, do you want COOLEST JOB in the WORLD? We're looking for someone to travel to shows in the Midwest to tie up hot chicks in corsets. (Sounds great, right? Well there are some caveats. Read on)

• We want someone who has some experience with one or all of the following type of events: Renaissance Fairs, the SCA, Science Fiction conventions or fetish shows.

• Must be able to travel. Some shows will be one day, others a weekend and some will require being gone from Thursday till Monday with driving time. We will cover travel expenses.

• Must be friendly, personable, and able to interact with a WIDE range of people.

• Must be able to schlep (carry) our stock and all sales equipment. Corsets can be heavy.

• Non Smoker. Clean driving record. Non-drinker preferred.
  

• Must be able to do simple bookkeeping.
  

• Must have reliable transportation. (And must not be a sub-compact)

• Computer literate (can email, IM etc. Photoshop and others skills a plus)

• Sewing skills a double bonus
  

• If female, must be willing to wear our product for duration of event

• An Ohio resident would be nice, but isn't required
  

If you're still reading, I am impressed. We will train you to the best of our ability, but you need to have some innate salesmanship skills. Above all you need to be honest and trustworthy. Our company has a very good reputation. We pride ourselves on good customer service.

What does this dream job pay? I can't give you a definite answer. I can say that there is a base pay with a bonus for meeting certain sales numbers. Also, you get to make money for attending events you have paid to attend in the past, which is pretty cool. We're hoping line up at least 2 shows a month, but more are possible in the summer months


If you think you'd like this job send me an email at steve.pack@gmail.com with your experience, and a photo if possible. I'll get back to you with more details. If you know someone who you think might be right for this job, please forward them this message.

The last of the great Playboys

Sir Dai Llewellyn passed away recently in England and despite it being politically incorrect, I rather admire this chap. He was the very definition of a player. He was nicknamed “Seducer of the Valleys”, “Conquistador of the Canapé Circuit”, “Dai 'Lock Up Your Daughters’ Llewellyn” or simply “Dirty Dai”.
He was a product of another age that we will likely never see again. The smooth Sean Connery James Bond type who could have any woman he wanted. It would be easy to dismiss him as a upper class twit and a waste of space and perhaps he was. But there's still a small part of every man that would like to be that guy, if only for a short time.

The Feast!

My wonderful mum gave Rossana and I a great gift this year. Tickets to the Trinity Church Boars Head Feast. Trinity really is a lovely church. Situated downtown across from CSU. I used to go visit it during my brief time college experience. Not as large or grand as some of the Cathedrals I've had the pleasure to see abroad, but it has a great design. Clean lines and not tarted up. A place of peace.

The meal was very tasty, and served promptly. The entertainment was passable and the company was pleasant. When I was asked what I did no one seemed to believe me. I even met the head priest and the director of the church. I didn't push it by telling them that I'm married to a witch and live in a hobbit hole. Weird overload and all that.

If you have a chance to attend I highly recommend it. Costumes are optional but make it more fun. No utensils, hands only.

By the way, this was a few weeks ago not long after Rossana had undergone foot surgery. The weather was brutal that night. Ice everywhere and her foot bound up, just off of crutches. And she STILL looked good. Check out the few pics I managed to grab.

Spending money to ...save money....wait what?

Times is tough. Money is tight. So we're looking at ways to make our pathetic pieces of green paper go farther.

The first was changing our health insurance. Apparently the arrival of the new year is the signal for our insurer to tack on another $100 a month to our insurance bill. This we just can't take. It's gotten to the point of absurdity. But I don't want to have no insurance at all, so we make our deal with the devil. We lower our premiums by accepting more upfront costs. A LOT more. On the up side, when you tell doctors or hospitals you are paying cash, the bill is often lower. The plan is to save the insurance for the really bad stuff.

Car insurance will be next.

Then there's the phone. The local phone lines are so decrepit that we loose 50 - 80% of our service when is rains heavily here. I can't get cell signal in our home (being underground and all) and I don't want to try a call-repeater or change our number (which is tied to our business). The answer? Ooma. Ooma is a VOIP system, like Vonage. But unlike vonage, you buy the hardware once and that's it. Voice quality is also supposedly better. It looks like a pretty sweet system. I bought the base unit and one satalite unit. But I need to get a router working in my office to hook it up to. I also need to test the system with my wonky internet provider. But if it all works, I will be able to change over my landline to Ooma (something Vonage can't do here yet) and start saving an ASSLOAD of money. I'll let you know how it's working in a few days.

The Machine....it WORKS!!!!!!!

Swiss watch found in 400-year-old tomb

Archeologists in China are baffled after finding a tiny Swiss watch in a 400-year-old tomb.

The watch ring was discovered as archeologists were making a documentary with two journalists from Shangsi town.

"When we tried to remove the soil wrapped around the coffin, a piece of rock suddenly dropped off and hit the ground with a metallic sound,? said Jiang Yanyu, former curator of the Guangxi Autonomous Region Museum.

"We picked up the object, and found it was a ring. After removing the covering soil and examining it further, we were shocked to see it was a watch."

The time was stopped at 10:06am, and on the back was engraved the word "Swiss", reports the People's Daily.

Local experts say they are confused as they believe the tomb had been undisturbed since it was created during the Ming dynasty 400 years ago.

They have suspended the dig and are waiting for experts to arrive from Beijing and help them unravel the mystery.

Keen - Pics of shuttle Endeavor

A great set of pics documenting all the steps involved in a typical shuttle mission. Very keen.

Bread and Circuses

I've just heard that Rome intends to bring back the Gladiatorial games at the Colosseum (or more correctly at the Flavian Amphitheater) next year. Sure, they will be watered down. But still. Gladiator combat IN THE COLOSSEUM! If the Romans were smart they would contract with the UFC and turn this into a money making machine for the city.

I would truly dig getting to fight here even if it's a demo or with non-lethal weapons. To stand where so many stood before you, being cheered by the crazed citizens of a bloodthirsty expansionist empire. Of wait, we have that already with Monday night football. And for real violence catch a Manchester United game in Spain.

As an aside, there are some Christian fundies that I'd love to toss in for authenticity purposes...

Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!!!!

Those who know me know that I am a great lover...of pie. I am partial to Cherry Crumb but I am by no means limited to cherry. Apple, Boston Cream, Raspberry, Rhubarb even banana cream. My taste buds are open to all and I reject nothing out of hand.

But cake? Well cake is a different matter. I love cake, make no mistake. But I am a bit finicky. I prefer yellow cake with a chocolate butter cream frosting. None of the "Double-death by chocolate with extra slabs of chocolate wedged in it" nonsense. Cakes with the density of peat moss. When such items are wheeled around on the desert tray I trun up my nose. My philosphy is simple: Keep it light and moist.

However...

There are the so-called "Art" cakes. Cakes that aren't created to be eaten so much as to be admired for their artistic beauty. I confess to a fondness for these wonders. I admire the skill of these bakers in the same way I admire ice sculpture. The technical challenges of working in a suger or water based media are many.

But there are only so many great artists in the world. For every Keneth Branagh there is a Keanu Reeves. For every 'Gladiator' there is 'Dungeon Siege: In the name of the King'. So I present to you: Cake Wrecks. A wonderful compendium of awfullness. Enjoy.

Zombies!!!

I want to see this film. I MUST see this film. Zombie Nazi's? Squeeee!

Hobbity Goodness

Stumbled across this by sheer chance. If I'm ever in New Zealand I'll be sure to stop by this theme motel. (Click on Hobbit theme motel on left)

Street with a View

Have you ever wanted to know exactly when the google streetview guys were coming so you could be outside in a yetti costume juggling flaming hams? Sure you have. And so did some clever monkeys in Pittsburgh who worked with google to stage a kind of 360 degree art scene.

It's pretty cool. It includes a marching band, mad scientists, an escape from a window and even two Dagorhir fighters with boffer weapons. Wow.

Go check it out.

Steampunk Con in California

Rossana and I flew out to San Jose to check out the Steampunk scene and see if it's a viable business avenue. We brought along Brass goggles, tshirts and some props but no corsets.

This was a first year con at a small boutique hotel. The hotel was modern, which didn't help the atmosphere but it was comfy. Our room was right on the main floor and no more than a stones throw from the dealers room. You have no idea the schlepping we normally do at a show. It was a joy to get dressed, step out our room door and sit down for breakfast, then walk a few steps and open shop. Heaven.

The con itself was well run and fairly well attended. The thing i loved was how different it felt. Lots of very different and creative costumes. The dealers room was actually interesting to walk through. The people we fun to chat with.

The big event was to have been the inaugural flight on board Americas first passenger Zeppelin in 70 years. Alas, when we arrived the weather was drizzling and the flights were canceled. It was a real bummer.

While there we ate at an Afghan restaurant and it was a delight. The food was amazing and I would encourage you to try it if the opportunity presents itself.

I greatly enjoyed the event. We made enough in sales to pay for the trip and got a lot of cool ideas. They've move the date next year so I don't know if we'll be able to make it. But with luck the East coast will come up with a steampunk con by then.

Here are some pics for you to check out.

How do you say Trekker in German?

Found this neat video on youtube of a german Sci-Fi convention. I am impressed. Awesome costumes, lots of energy and lots of Jaggermeister. 

I don;t know if this is a typical con over there, but it looks like a lot of fun.

I like em big...

So the're a GIANT BALLISTA for sale on ebay. 

I could link to the story about how this was built for the discovery chanel for education blah blah baaaaaah. I think what we need to do is focus on the fact that there is a

GIANT BALLISTA for SALE on EBAY.

Yes, it's in England.

Yes, it's 'As is' and will need alittle work.

Yes it's $35,000

But ASIDE from all that its the perfect gift.

For me.

Update: Oh look, here's a wee little one for only $10,00 here in the US.

I'm off to check my couch cushions  for change.

p.s. Make sure you check out the questions to buyer section on the UK site. Hilarious.

Extra Awesome

These guys have some shirts that I have truly fallen in love with. Wearscience!

Very cool...The Beatles

On my last drive up to the Michigan Ren I listened to NPR's All Songs Considered podcast which had an interview with the son of legendary Beatles manager George Martin. He and his father had been contacted to do a score for a Cirque du Soleil show called 'Love'.

The project involved remixing a number of classic Beatles tunes and results were so cool I bought the CD on Amazon. (It's not available on iTunes yet) I must admit, I like what they've done. A lot of new and rich textures are brought out. Through subtle changes and segues I heard things I had never heard before. No new shitty vocals by Madonna or that type of nonsense. No new instrumentals or techno backbeatsd. It's all the Beatles. And it's good.

Keen

Some friend of a guy who does the Shortpacked comic strip got married and I have to admit, it's a pretty sweet looking invite.



Tough to top? Sure. But very geeky. Apparently the wedding was costume mandatory. My kind of people.

Freakin' EPIC

I learned to day that the following piece of AWESOME weaponry is now available. What could make this thing more cool? Putting it to use in an all out office war. This is one of the few things we didn't do back when I was working for 'the man', but I wish we had.

Have a look.

Sooooo coooooool

Optimus Prime made from scrap metal....

A game with only one rule...

No Murder.

This is no joke. The small town of Ashbourn in England plays a game called Shrovetide Football. It is not like any game you have ever seen before.

In the small English town of Ashbourne during 2 days a year the people divide to play a sport with the purpose of scoring the “toughest goal”. Sure kicking a ball into the net takes some skill, but even these people would say scoring in a sport such as rugby is only for the weak. Imagine thousands of people, divided by a river, with 2 days to get a ball across town with one simple rule: no murder. That is only the beginning in Royal Shrovetide Football.

Go and check out the details here. There are two videos but they don't seem to work on the site, but you can fine one here and a longer one here.

MegaCon and more

I ran into R2 at the Con. He looks good for his age but I thought he might want to try out "The Shatner" model to keep that slight gut in check.


















The very rare double headed Rhino. She's a beauty!





















THIS is what you look like after the ride that "doesn't get you very wet" according to my beloved wife.

















Two lorikeets sharing some nectar at Busch Gardens

When you need a slushie yesterday...

How is this for a cool concept. A faux store with a time travel theme! It appears that money raised form the sale of things like "Barbarian Repellent" and "Robot Cow Milk" goes to support a non-profit tutoring and writing center.


This is the kind of thing that I could SO get behind. We need more coolness like this in the world.

Wow

Here is a trailer for a film I had heard NOTHING about called The Fall. It looks good. DAMN good. Take a peek:




This is by the director of The Cell, which was beautiful to look at but not a great story. Then again, I love eye candy. And thanks to the internets, I learned that the music in the trailer is from Beethoven's 7th symphony. My man Ludwig was one hell of a composer.

What have I done?

I have spoken before about how I am not to be left unsupervised for any reason. This is double so any time I am near shiny objects. So I feel completely comfortable blaming my lovely wife for this entire fiasco. Oh sure , she had nothing to do with it in any direct way. But if I blame myself I'll just stress out and we all know that stress is bad for you, right?

And it's not like I could have resisted the siren-like call even if I HAD any kind of self control (which I do not). Can I be blamed for letting my eyes rest upon the shapely, sexy form that was before me? Could any man have remained faithful. NO I say. There are carnal urges, and they must be sated.

So... I bought and iphone.

It was not something I needed to do. I have a phone and it mostly works. At one time I thought it was powerful and even a little sexy (in a Bill Gates kind of way). The Treo 650 had email, could surf the internet, had a color screen, ran the Palm OS and could sync with my PC. It seemed like the right thing to get. It was pricey. But I told myself that it would allow me to stay in contact while on the road. Indeed, the treo was very handy, mostly as an email device. It saved me and my clients several times when things went wrong with their websites. There were times when using only my phone I corrected settings on a clients website while sitting in a tent in the middle of nowhere during a rainstorm. But lately the spark had gone out of the relationship. It crashed on occasion. I expect this from my PC, but my phone? Yes it ran the Palm OS, but we all know that that like investing in a dodo farm.

The browser was functional but finicky. The notes feature just stopped working. The sync often created duplicate entries in outlook. It was a qwerty keyboard but my fingers are not the nimble digits of a piano player but the meaty paws of a wookie.

I thought it was time my phone and I started seeing other people.

The experience of getting the phone at an AT&T store was more pleasant than I had imagined or read about. It wasn't a paradise with 72 virgins and streams of wine, but it wasn't a red hot poker up the ass either. The young man (I think his name was Bark, or Brad or something) answered my questions. He had an iphone, as did 2 of the other 3 sales people. Two had jailbroken them (hacked them to run unofficial applications).

Then I learned that switching to the iphone with a data plan would actually be $20 a month cheaper than my current plan. Well, hell. In a year it would half-way pay for itself. (This is what passes for rational though in a tech fevered mind).

I bought it and took it home.

Setting up the Treo had been fun in the same way that having someone poke you in the eye is fun. The basic setup was simple enough, but setting up the email failed. I went online and finally tracked down an obscure tech document with clues on how to get email working. It turns out this information had actually be printed up by the helpful sales guy and stuffed in the bag with the phone when I bought the Treo, but AT&T had given me something like 50 pieces of paper with the phone. Manuals, promotions, recipie books, addendum's firmware update info.

When I took the iphone out, I plugged in the dock and stuck the phone in it.

I went through a setup form. It synced my contacts and itunes playlists. I went outside to get signal and in a minute it was activated. My sole interaction was to enter a password for my email and that was it. It just worked. I played with it. Tweaked it. Added a few widgets, moved some icons around on its desktop. All of it intuitively. I never looked at the skinny users guide.

As a former usability person all I can say is that this is simply the best designed device around. Although there is a volume rocker switch on the side and a sleep button on top, they aren't needed. It essentially has ONE button. That's it.

Jacob Neilson masturbates to his iphone.
(and if anyone else other than Ed get that joke, I'm impressed)

Since I try not to use cell phones while driving there have been times that I've needed Rossana to call someone or try to check directions or whatever. This was never a pleasant experience. First you had to push the center button, then tap the screen to unlock it. The either push the phone button or the menu button. You could then use the rocker button to select 'contacts' or push the on screen icon for the virtual keypad. And this was just the phone! It's easy enough if you are comfortable with tech but Rossana eyes tech the way I eye shellfish, as an evil entity that is lying in wait to attack me.

I handed Rossana the phone and had her push its single button. From there, everything else was pretty much self explanatory. Typing on the virtual keyboard takes some getting used to. But it's no slower than the pinheads that the treo had. She smiled.

I snapped a pic of the box and emailed it to my brother. He and I have discussed the iphone back and forth for a while. It's strange that he, who used a Mac for many years is now very attached to a Windows mobile phone. I played with it at his wedding and it is a great phone. It has a slide out keyboard and GPS. It's very nice and I was tempted by it.

But in the end I went for the iphone. After the clunky, asymmetrical block of the Treo I could not resist the sexy black buttonless slab. This is not to say that it is perfect. It has flaws. The most obvious is the fact that standard headphone jacks don't work without an adapter ($5). Flash isn't natively supported. It doesn't have GPS (although it can get a rough fix on your position) and it's not 3G which means it's not as fast when surfing the wb (although it can use wifi, which is sweet). My brother told me I would feel the fool once Apple releases a 3G version this summer. Perhaps. Or I may just sell it on ebay for a profit. This thing is in high demand around the world. Even the sales kid at the store told me that I would be better off ebaying it if I didn't like it than returning it for a 10% restocking fee.

Of course, now that I have it. I have to pay for it. This means I need to clear out my closet. The first two things that have to go are the Treo and my 40 gig ipod. Both have served me well. I used the Treo to Blog about volunteering in New Orleans and travelling through Egypt. The ipod has kept us awake during long drives to shows with audio books from the library. Both work great. The treo's memo function is wonky, but I'm sure resetting it to factory setting will take care of that. I replaced the ipod battery with a new one only five months ago. It's better than the original. If anyone is interested in either drop me a line or leave a comment. I'll give it a week before they go on ebay along with some other stuff.

I'm off to Samarkand..

Actually... I'm not. But if I WAS going to Samarkand or Timbuktu I would want to use this luggage.


It is achingly beautiful, handcrafted and so pricey that by the time I got the luggage I couldn't afford to go to on a day trip to Windsor and play the Nickel slots. They make a great satchel case as well. Still too expensive. Ah... some day...

Obey the Kitteh

The glorious revolution and it's leader will crush the running dogs of the west.



And then play with the toy mousy and take a nap. Get the shirts and schwag here, (they also have dog stuff too, if you're into that sort of thing.

77 Drummers

This the kind of thing I would love to help make happen. A collection of 77 drummers who came together to create one large musical instrument. There is no profit motive. There is no product tie in. There is no CD. There are no sponsors or celebrity talking heads. Just a cool idea. If you've ever played in a drum circle you know it can be a total blast.

Taking a deep breath...

Ok, I've calmed down after my previous rant. Watching this video helped. Then I went to this site which has all kinds of pics of microcars. Sweet!

Happy swag day!

Yes, I got some very practical gifts. A winter Tilly hat and some thick socks. I got some books (which I always love). But I have to admit that my two favorite gifts were given to me by my sweetie. One was the Firefly ships papers I blogged about a few days ago. They're lovelier that I could have imagined. The other is a simply massive and completely impractical lock made in India I believe. It takes two keys to open. It's huge! I have NO use for it, but I love it dearly. I am already thinking about how to decorate it with brass and other gunge.

So, what neat swag did you get?

Sweet find...

A week ago or so I visited the local Army/Navy surplus store in Oberlin. I'm looking for bits and bobs for a Steampunk costume and military surplus is sometimes a great resource. I found a cool looking map case for about $12 and a small canvas pouch for $2 that used to be used to carry hand grenades. As I was checking out I felt my Souk Sense tingle. My souk sense is like Peter Parkers Spidey sense but more practical. I don't need to know if Doc Oc is behind me, but I do need to know when something cool is nearby and for sale. That thing was a flintlock pistol sitting on a hook on the wall behind the register.

I casually asked the salesman about it and he said it wasn't real (well Duh) and some guy had traded it in or something. I asked to see it and tried to keep my composure as I checked it over. It wasn't real, but it was a very good reproduction. Made in Spain. Better than the mass produced items available at any ren fair. I had owned a nicer version a few years ago that I picked up in a trade and regrettably sold it at a Pirate event to make sure we broke even. I got $300 for it. This one wasn't near as nice but it was close. Real flint holder, solid barel, mechanism in good shape. I asked if he'd sell it.

"How much you offering?" he asked.

Tough call that, but as he knew nothing of its worth and I had nothing to loose I said "20 bucks".

"Sold" Sweet.

This picture was taken before I did any work on it. I completely disassembled it, sanded the barrel, cleaned up the firing mechanism, ground down the trigger to a smooth finish, polished the brass and treated the wood. Aside from a missing screw (which I replaced) and a cracked ramrod (invisible) it's in top form and looks great.

Achingly Beautiful

In addition to my love of paper ephemera, I have a deep love of old books and journals. So, of course any place that stockpiles them, any place that lavishly displays thousands of tomes in soaring cathedral like locals is enough to send my salivary glands into overdive. I present to you a wonderful collection of libraries I will some day have sex in around the world. Wait...what? Forget the sex part. I meant visit, libraries i will visit someday.

Courtesy of Curious Expeditions

Knees...getting...weak...

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a certain...weakness... for props and specifically paper ephemera. Maps, documents, old foreign money, deeds. Now some clever monkeys have created some awesome looking props and documents from Firefly.


There are blueprints that look just gorgeous. And the best? A set of official ships papers that are too cool to be believed. We never saw these in the show, just the leather case they were carried in, but these guys have done some awesome work in creating what should have been seen. Alas, they are $120 which is more than I can spend right now. They also look to be creating some other great looking props. If you are a Battlestar Galactica fan (and who in their right mind isn't) you might like to check out their tongue in cheek "How to spot a Cylon poster" for only $20.

Oh how the mighty have fallen...

What would Lord Vader say?

The most amazing thing you've ever seen...

People throw that term around a lot. But i think I can safely say that the following link will take you to a story about a place so amazing, made in secret by people with such passion, that you will agree with my statement that it is the most amazing thing ever. I don't know if it's possible to visit this place, but I am damn well going to try.


I give you, The Temples of Damanhur

Technology!

Sure, it's the 21st century and I don't have a !@#$% flying car. I can deal with it. I'm not happy, but I can handle it. What does that leave? Talking computers, moon base, giant walking robots. There are still a lot of cool things I was promised that haven't materialized yet.

But wait, what is this? A super hi tech material thats soft and flexible but when exposed to sudden shock instantly becomes rock hard? Sweeeeeeeet The material d30 (which even sounds like a D&DE armor class) works a little like corn starch in water. Expose it to shock, and some molecular/structural/magic transformation happens turning the rubber-like material solid. Very very cool.

So my question is, could it work for SCA combat? Better yet, when can I get underwear made out of this?

More video of one chick hitting another in the kneecap with a shovel here.

Super cool tool system

If anyone happens to win the lottery in the next few months, I would be quite happy to receive one of these as a present. The Mobile-Shop looks pretty damn sweet (even if the website looks like poo). All modular with tons of storage and wheels. It even comes complete with tools, screws, nuts bolts, tape, everything. The weird thing is that it doesn't seem to have storage for many power tools. A storage unit for a cordless drill and circular saw would be nice, as they are what you use 90% of the time during construction projects.

Pics from GenCon

Sadly, I didn't get to take very many. Too busy working. But I did grab a few and here they are.

Cool

A lego aircraft carrier.

Its go time

The party is almost here. We're down to the last few projects. I am very glad of this, because I feel like I have been in a perpetual state of filthy for the past 30+ days. Seriously. I have been covered in some kind of filth, paint, stain, mud, mortar or glue for over a month. I have destroyed two pairs of pants and three shirts. Rossana has worked even harder than I have and Lindsey has helped out with all kinds of no fun projects.

The end results though, are pretty impressive. I won't post any pics until after the party. It should be big. Today I hit the fireworks store and again I was UNSUPERVISED. I went way overboard this time. Really. This show will be amazing, but I'm going to need to put out a donation jar to try and recoup the large chunk of change I dropped on this fantasia. I have no ability to say No to things that go boom.

It will be great to see my friends. Sometimes this is the one time a year I get to see some of these people. After the party I'm going to visit my Dad up in Boston. Then it's back to work. Great Lakes Medieval Faire opens soon.

Wow

This is pretty impressive. Super detailed doll house scale model of Bag End. Sweet. The pictures are pretty big and there are a lot of them, low bandwidth visitors beware. Go check it out!

Horay!!

My brother Goodman just got engaged! I'm geeked! And it looks like the wedding will be in November. I am really happy for him. It looks like we'll be visiting Austin again. It's a great city. I wonder if I'll get a chance to visit the Alamo Drafthouse again?

Oh, and she's wiccan. Sweet.

THE coolest car

I am not a car person. To me, a car serves a function, and form is something I usually don't care about. There are exceptions of course. The Delorean (time machine or otherwise) The spinner from Blade Runner, the Mach 5 and a few others. Sure.

But in general most cars, modern or classic, fail to get my heart running. I can apprciate them, but not crave them. This is not the case with Bugatti's Veyron. Watch this video and see for yourself.

I am well aware that the way they shot this sequence is half of what makes it so cool. This is a car show for gods sake! Yet it has the visuals of a movie. Outstanding.

Flickrvision

Totally addicting. See what people are uploading to Flickr and where they are uploading from.

Beam me up. Har har.

When contemplating a home improvement project, there are three distance phases:

• Phase 1- Concept
  
  "Honey, if we're going to stucco the house, we should have stone lintels over the windows like an Irish cottage. That would rock."

• Phase 2- Modification due to budget
  
  "Holy crap, there is NO way we can afford stone. But I found this cool company on the Internets that makes faux wood beams. They'd be perfect"

• Phase 3 - Settling for something else (due to the intrusion of reality).
  
  "They want HOW much just to ship a fake wood beam? Ok, what have I got sitting around the yard that I haven't burned yet?"

I really put entirely too much thinking into what should have been a pretty straight forward problem. How do I make it look like the windows have antique beams above them. I contacted companies that sell old barn beams and tried to figure out complex cuts so that they would fit into the window frame. I stressed myself out because I couldn't make it work. Eventually I had to walk away from the problem. Too much thinking. Thinking bad.

They yesterday I picked up a scrap piece of 6X6 left over from the roof project. I held it over the window and heard the sound of Angels blasting trumpets. I could use chunks of WOOD!!!!

I know, it seams pretty obvious to YOU. But I'd been trying to figure out ways to cut materials to replicate a lintel exactly. Using an actual beam would not be perfect, some of the existing window frame would be visible, but it would certainly work, and time is a big factor here.

And since our budget won't allow for buying real 200 year old hand worked beams I had to come up with my own. The solution was simple and very effective. A super tough wire wheel on a 4" angle grinder. The wheel strips away the softer wood fibers, leaving the harder wood in a great raised pattern. It's just like sandblasting. I also took chunks out at random spots and rounded the edges to give the appearance of having been hand worked with an adze.

Voila! Instant antique beams. They look great and didn't cost an arm and a leg. Rossana loves them and now wants to know if I could do the same to the main beams for the roof. That would be about 20 times the work. Plus the beams would be dark whereas the rest of the roof is pretty light colored. Maybe I could use a lighter stain. We'll see. I'm just grateful to get something off my to do list.

Balls

According to Wikipedia, today marks the anniversary of the attempted theft of the crown jewels of England in 1671 by Thomas Blood (yes, that was his name).

Have a read, it's short and simply amazing. This guy not only tried to steal the Crown Jewels, he told the King the jewels were only worth 6,000 pounds, not the 100,000 they were valued at.

Then he talked his way into a pardon!
He're to you, Thomas Blood. And your 15 pound balls.

If you have it, you don't need it.

By now you've likely seem the AWESOME Bruce Campbell Old Spice ads. If you haven't, turn in your Penis and hang your head in shame. For some more fun (and a bit of edutainment) go visit http://www.experienceoldspice.com/

Take the test and tell me how you did in the comments.

Furniture from Guns

A facinating set of pictures of weapons parts turned into furniture.

Dangerocity Part II

With only a few days to go before heading out on the road I managed to get a day set aside for Ballista work with Grimm. Those of you awaiting pictures of us firing flaming projectiles at unsuspecting targets will have to wait.

Our fist order of business was actually fixing my welder. While it wasn't exactly broken, the knob that holds the dial controlling how many thousands of volts are used in the welding process was not holding. After dis assembly we found that the hole for the knob was stripped. Grimm pulled out his tap and die set and I got to tap some bolt holes. A first for me.

Wow, I am actually uncomfortable with reading that.

Anyhow, with repairs made we got down to some serious thinking. The design we are using requires two steel plates to be fabricated. Not having actual plates of steel large enough, Grimm prepared to weld a good dozen smaller pieces of steel together to achieve the same thing.


In my opinion this is like making a windshield from several panes of broken glass. Yes, it might work, no I don't want to be there when its in use. Grimm seemed confident in its structural soundness but it would involve a ton of cutting and welding. Instead I searched the internets and found a company that has a water jet. This VERY cool toy will cut 1/4 inch thick plate steel using a jet of high pressure water. Yes, I asked my wife if I could have one, the answer was no. We fired off the specs and decided to work on shortening the axle.

Out comes our old friend the circular saw. Lots of sparks. I made the second cut but did not have the advantage of long sleeves. Lets just say burning arm hair is not a pleasant smell.



With a 1 foot section removed from the middle of the axle we set up the welding rig outside, where it was bitter cold. Grimm did the welding and a fine job it was. When cool, each of us took turns standing on the axle and so far it has held our weight.



Then...more thinking. Grim has two gears for the winding mechanism. These need to be mounted to a shaft, the shaft needs to be held by several bearings and the center of the shaft needs a drum to wind the draw string onto. We also need to add crank handles. This is by far the most complex part of the operation but we worked out the parts we needed and how we would assemble them. Alas, it was getting late and we didn't have all the tools we needed. We called it a day.

Oh yeah, this will end well...

Ok folks, its time for another installment of 'The Danger Show - with Grimm and Steve'. What are these two kooky kids up to today? Well, they've decided to built a ballista. That's right, these brain surgeons are going to use tools, to make a weapon. It's a danger trifecta!

We began with a well written set of directions and blueprints we obtained off the interweb. These plans were promptly ignored by Grimm, who has in typical fashion, completely redesigned the project in his brain.

Things got off to a good start when Grimm informed me that the prod (the bow shaped thing that makes the big arrows go zoom) did not look good enough, and would have to be cut down. Now, because of the spring like nature of this piece of steel, it cannot be subjected to heat. This would ruin the tempter. The solution? Hose down the prod as we use an electric circular saw to cut the prod.

I am not making this up. If you click HERE you will see the larger image, labelled accordingly:

1. The Hose
2. The Saw
3. The electric cord
4. Glasses. Subject to fogging and debris
5. Grimm's mind

I'll upload some video to youtube later. It was fun, if you consider getting soaked to the skin in ice water while risking electrocution fun. But somehow, we managed not to injure ourselves. We only got half the prod done before the cold forced us indoors for fresh socks. We began the body of the weapon, which looks pretty good. To be fair, Grimm did the lions share of the hard work work this first session. I alternated between flinching and trying not to pee myself. To feel productive I've started stripping a pair of Amish wheels Grimm 'obtained' which will be used to move the weapon once its done. I am fairly sure that using Amish wagon wheels as part of a Medieval siege weapons is a fairly straight path to Hell.

What I've been up to

My recent fascination with Steampunk has led me to dream of several outlandish projects. It is a genre ripe for the picking. Not limited by actual science but more by aesthetics and cool factor I have been gripped by a kind of artistic fever that is composed of rivets, gears and polished brass..

As such, I have created The Clockwork Rifle. It is based loosely on the classic Kentucky rifle with a few notable exceptions. There is no pan or striker. Also, I have added a sniper scope.

This is my first effort and is mostly just a prototype. I carved the rifle stock by hand using a draw knife and a lot of sanding. The barrel is grey PVC. Lots of clock bits. The brass flourishes on the side are cut down cabinet hinges, the brass bands are a thin art brass It was a time consuming process as I wanted the parts I used to look like they fit together. I'm not completely happy yet. I still need a trigger guard and possibly a flip out hand crank for winding the 'main spring' that would power such a weapon. This stock is two pieces but I intend to use a much nicer single piece of wood for the next one.

In doing research for this project I discovered that air rifles, that is, actual air powered rifles that could be used for hunting, were in limited production in the 1700's. Lewis and Clark brought one along, mostly to impress the natives.

Comments and criticisms of this project are eagerly sought.

Clockwork rifle

It will be mine...

I was doing some research on youtube when I came across a great video of a radio control pirate ship. I have been dreaming of such a thing ever since moving to Bag End. I mean, I have a big pond, and although my original plan of building a full scale pirate ship in said pond did not pan out I could still have 2 ships duke it out. If only such cool toys existed. A google search even a year ago yielded nothing, but thanks to this great little video I found a very cool site: iwantoneofthose.com
Their motto? "Stuff you don't need...but really, really want."

It's like they can read my mind, man.

Check the video and pop over to the site for the toys. These pirate ships are only about $60 delivered. And hey, isn't you birthday coming up Steve? Why yes, I think it is. What a coincidence.

Coolest armor EVAR...

This artist is entirely too clever. Clicky the linky to see his gallery of armor for cats and mice. Amazing work here.

Child's Play

When I was a wee lad, we didn't have any of these fancy game consoles. There were no X-Boxen and PS360's or WEEEEEEEE systems. We used to go out in the yard and throw acorns at each other. That's what we did for fun.

Of course, I never had to spend several weeks in a childrens hospital with nothing to do. Sadly, a lot of kids do. This is where a very cool charity called Child's Play comes in. Founded by the clever mirth-mongers at Penny-Arcade in responce to the accusation that gamers contribute nothing to society the Childs Play charity provides games, books and other diversions to sick tots around the world. 100% of your donation goes to the kids. And the great part is that thanks to Amazon.com you don't have to guess what these childrens hospitals need, wish lists have already been drawn up. You can donate to a hospital of your choice of simply donate via PayPal.

Go ahead and bring some joy to a sick kid. I know you're good people.

Brick - See it

Last night I watched a film called 'Brick' on pay per view and I must say that I enjoyed it more than many films I have seen over the past few years. I highly recommend you check out this great hommage to film noir set in a California High School. It's original, funny, painful and well thought out. Great cinematography and a haunting score. One small complaint is that there is a LOT of slang used in this monie, most of it isn't the current kid/gangsta crap. It sounds like it's right out of Daschle Hammett. It comes fast and hard and you might need to rewind now and then to catch it. Check out the trailer (link above).

Super cool...The Shire housing development

Many people have stated how they hate me because I live at Bag End, which they seem to think is a very cool place. They are right to hate me, it is cool. But if you're willing to relocate a little West I have JUST the place for you. It's so cool even I want to go see it when its done. I give you The Shire!

War, but not the bad kind

I just got back from the Pennsic War. This is an annual trip I have made for the past 20 years or so. It's the largest SCA event in the world (at about 12,000 people) and you have to attend it to fully understand it.

This year we were blessed with great weather (a rarity) and a general lack of drama in our camp (a very good thing). The biggest event for me was the resurection of the Hell Party. We ran this party for 6 years before discontinuing it about 4 years ago. But last year's parties were so dismal, so completely devoid of energy or fun that with the help of my campmates we resurected the party with pretty good results.

The party has a slight historical petigree. It was roughly based on church or 'Mystery' plays in the middle ages where the institutions of the church were mocked with slapstick comedy and bawdy humor. Our party featured several carnival style games; Bobbing for Bourbon and the cock-ring toss. We also had a whip-chick area with a stocks and St. Andrews cross. We served great beer and a concoction called Swamp Gas (composed of Mountain Dew and Everclear). We also set up a stage and brought in entertainers.

The one day of bad weather was of course, the night of the party. The grey skies turned black and the rain came just after the first act on our stage. In the rain it was almost impossible to arrange my entrance with the stage manager. In the end I just game in hoping the crowd would notice a 6'2 guy painted red with horns and a pitchfork. They did. I ascended the stage and my makeup began to run into my eyes, blinding me. And then, the three propane torches giving light to the camp, blew out leaving everything in darkness.

This was one suck-ass opening.

I got off stage and did a quick intro by the fire, stumbled 'back stage' and got the worst of the makup out of my eyes. When the rain let up I used some scrap paper on the end of my pitchfork to re-light the torches. The party began to pick up steam. We brought out a fire eater. After that, it was time for our secret weapon. We snuck a generator into our camp (not permitted by campground rules) and used it to power a snow machine that blew fluffy soap-based flakes over the crowd. It was amazing and the crowd loved it. More people crowded in. We sold t-shirts, cigars and indulgences for donations to help defray the cost of the party. This was my biggest worry. Running an event of this size takes a lot of cash. My friend Ed personally fronted about $1200 bucks to make this happen. If the weather had been just a little bit worse, the party would have failed, and more importantly, we would have been left with huge expences. In the end, the donations covered the cost of the party and allowed us to make a donation to the Tuchux Breast-Cancer charity (The Tuchux are a loose affiliation of barbarian types who have gotten a bit of a bad rap over the years).

It was an enormous undertaking. And none of it could have happened without the hard work of everyone in my camp. From locating and picking up long-disused props to setting up the games, the stage and the whipping area to selling tshirts, setting up and running the bar.

I think we reclaimed the 'coolest party' award in the eyes of the attendees. As usuall, I ended up taking a shower at 4am to try and get the red paint off. And the next day my back informed me that lugging 150lb kegs can be hazardous to your health. I spent much of the next 2 days in a bit of a haze. Doing the party just burned up a massive amount of my personal energy reserves. It wasn't just the physical part of helping run the party, but all the stressing out I did in the days before it. Now that its over I am more relaxed. People are already asking me about "Next Years big party". Sorry, I am giving absolutely NO thought to this right now. The Michigan Ren Fair is open and the Ohio Ren starts soon. My garage and shop are disaster areas. It's back to work.

But it was one Hell of a party.

3.2 MILLION firecrackers

I am unworthy.....

A quick bit of fun

Go ahead, push the button.

Super cool...

Anyone speak Russian? Here are some AWESOME pics from a former Soviet Sub base.

When I am God-Emperror of this miserable little mudball of a planet, I shall have a slew of such bases hidden across the globe. Just in case any of my subjects get uppity.

Earth Sandwich

We live in a time of wonder my friends. Once it was thought that if you dug straight down through the earth you would end up in China, where (it is assumed) you would be able to get some really good Chinese food. Of course we know this to be a myth. The Morlocks would get us long before we reached the Earths inner core of cottage cheese.

But thanks to GPS and advances in baking technology, we can now create The Earth Sandwich!

Thus prooving scientifically that some of our speciese has waaaaaay too much time on their hands.

Oh my...

I think its fair to say that I have a certain fondness for the DeLorean. It is a fondness shared by about 97.3% of all males. So when I saw this I was indeed impressed Thanks to the design of the delorean it can provide its own screen for the viewing of visual entertainment. One could easily watch films about time travel, which would no doubt feel like being on some kind of thrill ride.

Adventures in Lawn Care

So here it is at last. The lawnmower. With it I shall tame the wilderness that is my back yard. I shall fear no weed. My chainsaw and my roundup shall comfort me.

This thing has made my life much easier. It does 80 mph. It can, in fact pop wheelies. I will be speaking with Grimm about chrome exhaust pipes and a turbo charger. Its 0-60 speed is a little sluggish. And yes, I am wearing a John Deere hat. It came with the mower and it gives me mad farmer cred down at Cecils trackside diner. Word.