Off on adventure!

Thursday Rossana and I depart on our latest adventure. Despite all of our planning there are a few unanswered questions and we have no idea how it will turn out. But that's half the fun, isn't it? For this trip, we are returning to a place dear to my heart. Venice! From the moment I stepped foot in Venice years ago I fell in love with it. And I wondered what it would be like to be there during Carnival and dreamed of attending a masked ball in one of the palaces that line the Grand Canal. Come Friday I will wonder no more.

That's right, we're going to a masked ball! I am, to put it bluntly, beyond geeked. Rossana has been working on her outfit for months. The last few pieces of my outfit have arrived. Next Saturday we will enter the Zenobio Palace for the Casanova Ball; Night of the Masked Porters.

For those who are unfamiliar, Venice was for centuries the party capitol of Europe. Tales of the republics decadence are legendary. At one point Napoleon tried to put a cap on it, as three months of the year and a significant portion of the GDP were being poured into this event. Eventually, Mussolini banned it outright. But Venice would not be denied, and the Grand Celebrations have returned.

There are many events scheduled during the two weeks of Carnival (Or Mardi Gras as its known here). Parades, performances, concerts, operas and of course the Masked Balls. These recall a time when much of Venice wore masks in everyday life. Powerful and well connected men and women conducted their affairs in anonymity. Gambling, attending the theater with one's mistress... If no one knows who you are who can forbid you?

The largest events are the Dogaressa Ball, the Masherenda and the Casanova Ball at the Zenobio. Each event is held in a building dating back at least to the 16th Century. All attendees must wear historical costume. No Ghost Busters or Start Trek outfits here. The costume shops of Venice produce some of the most amazing outfits I have ever seen. And the price is quite high to rent them. This is where Rossana's skills and the kindness of several friends comes in. I am indebted to Mr. Weaver of Authentic Wardrobe for supplying me with a stunning jacket and waistcoat. Blonde Swan hats is making a tri-corn hat for me. The other parts have been make by Rossana and gathered from online and local resources.

For a while, it looked like we wouldn't be attending at all. Last season was somewhat crappy but we managed to pull a few good weekends near the end. Then there was the problem of getting tickets. Rossana tried no less than 5 times to purchase tickets. Each time she was thwarted by a crappy website, a payment system in German and finally Uncle Sam demanding to know every detail of our foreign bank transfer. Several skype calls were placed to make sure we were on the guest list and the apologetic hosts have assured us the various fees we incurred will be refunded and a lovely bottle of Champaign will be presented for our inconvenience. This is all well and good. But it is Monday and the tickets have not yet arrived in the mail. Using google Earth I have found a wall near the back of the Palace. Should things go pear shaped, I am pretty sure we can scale it and gain entrance to the event in a surreptitious manner.

It's been quite a while since I've been to a party, let alone a masked ball. The party doesn't start until 9 and goes (I am told) until dawn. We shall see how long we can endure. There will be performers of all types, much food and drink, dancing (with instruction by a classic dance master). There may also be fireworks!

Alas, our stay in Venice will be a short one. The weather at this time of the year is dreadful and the city is filled with tourists. So not long after the party we fly to the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan. We've found a tour that will explore Petra and several crusader era castles along with the Dead Sea. It will be quite a change from the decadence of Venice. Is it safe? Well, Jordan does border Iraq in the Al-Anbar province as well as Syria and Israel. But Jordan is a strong US supporter and a pretty stable constitutional monarchy. The State department has no serious red flags as of this writing but who can say.

I will post Facebook and blog posts as internet access allows. I will be taking a crapload of pictures. The party itself is lit by candle light. I don't know how well any shots will come out but I will do my best.

Playing hookey

I looked out at the deck. It sat there, mocking me in its ugliness.

"You'll never get rid of me" it said. "There will always be more pressing projects."

"But I hate you." I said to the wood and brick monstrosity.

"I know, but it's too late to do anything this summer anyway. You open Great Lakes in a weeeeeeeek" it hissed at me.

And then I got the crowbar and screw gun.

In a couple of hours the railing was gone and I was working on the flooring. But the weather kept threatening rain. Also, tearing out the deck turned out to be...you know...work.

"We need to get out of here!" I said.

"Are you talking to me or the deck this time?" my wife asked.

"What? You, of course. Pack a bag. We're leaving."

And so we did. We grabbed our passports, some money and a change of clothes and took off for Niagara Falls. It's been many years since my last visit and I've never done a lot of the touristy things there. That was about to change. We took the more western Peace bridge and sailed through customs. Then we drove along the lovely Niagara Parkway. Once we hit the town we parked and set off for adventure. We rode the Maid of the Mist, which was awesome. In the morning we drove North into wine country. We visited a butterfly conservatory, a printing museum, bought some fresh cherries and indulged a dream of mine, a helicopter trip.

You know how I've blabbed that I wouldn't have a problem sitting next to a 'brown person' on an airplane because fear mongering in stupid? Well, I got the chance to put my money where my mouth was.

It seems a nice Muslim family wanted to take a helicopter ride. Ok. Cool. But then the men didn't want to go along. Just the wives (wearing burkas) and kids. Ooookay. Then the fuss started. You see, any time you go to an attraction at Niagara Falls, someone will snap your picture for the inevitable souvenir photo at the end. I knew this wasn't going to go well. The dutifull young woman tried to take shots of all of us and the women kept trying to tell her that they DID NOT want their picture taken. It was, in a word, awkward. Once the copter arrived we piled in. Strangely, they put one of the mothers in the front next to the pilot, and me, Rossana, the other mom and the two kids in the back. Why not keep that group together? Why not put the one male adult in the front? I don't know and there was no chance to debate when there are whiling blades of death above you.

Off we go, and it was AWESOME. I took some video with the new phone which I'll post soon. It was a trip flying high above the Falls. The helicopter was buffeted a little by the winds which gave it that slight roller coaster feeling. I can't tell of the ladies enjoyed the trip, and the one little boy sitting across from me spent most of the trip eyeballing ME as if I might do something crazy.

We crossed over to the American side and parked on Goat Island. I wanted to visit the cave of the winds (where you walk right up to the bottom of the waterfall and can also go behind it. But the wait was between 2-3 hours. Fail.

We strolled to the Amercian and Horseshoe edges before deciding to head home (with a quick stop to the Anchor Bar in Buffalo for some take out wings, of course).

I'm glad we took the trip, it's our last chance before the season starts and it's all work.

Update! Pics are Here.

Back home

Long flight from Turkey, miserable flight from JFK. Got some solid sleep and am just starting to look at the pile of crap to do.


I'll post about our last day in Istanbul and our mission in the grand bazaar later. There's a lawn that needs mowin'.

Back in Istanbul

We only has a short time in Bursa, the cradle of the Ottoman Empire. One of the cities chief products is silk (in addition to ceramics and fighter jets). We hit the 15th century silk bazaar and got to work. I'd like to tell you that we sat in a small shop in the oldest part of the bazaar, the Han, sipping tea with a old Turkish man wearing a well worn Fez.

Alas, this was not the case. The shop we settled on was fairly modern looking, and our contact was a young woman in Bell Bottoms. (Oh, and the Fez has been illegal in Turkey since 1924). Still she was a good bargainer and we walked away with over 50 silk scarves and wool pashminas. We left the bazaar which exits near the 13th century Grand Mosque just as the afternoon call to prayer began.

"I like the way we get to shop" I said to my wife, smiling.

We did the tourist thing today, visiting Hagia Sophia and the Blue Mosque. Both are beautiful buildings. I learned a few new things, but the crowds were a real distraction. We ate at the legendary Pudding Shop where the owner notices me taking picturess of some of the old photos and letters on the wall.

"Where you from?" the older man at ther register asked.


"From America."

"Why you..?" he made the picture taking motion.

"This the the famouse Pudding Shop. I read about it in a book. Magic Bus. All the hippies started out for India and Nepal from here. I've only seen Turkey this trip, but I wanted to eat here in their memory."

He smiled knowingly and reached behind the counter. He handed me some postcards with the Pudding Shop on the front along with the Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia. There were also two stickers touting the 'World Famous' restaurant. He shook my hand warmly. "Good travels". I left very geeked.

We took a cruise on the Bosporus to see some of the many Sultans palaces and other buildings that line this historic seaway.

Later, we crawled through Istanbul trafic to our hotel. The last time we did this we flew across in record time, then we remembered it was May Day, the day of the riots.

Tomorrow is the Topkapi palace and the one BIG chance to buy everything we've been holding back on. And we have to do in in a narrow window of time or we'll get trapped in the same traffic we did today. Right now we're sitting in our room roasting. No AC and no breeze outside the window. We're testing the capacity of our luggage to see how best to pack. Already some clothes have been jettisoned, more will go tomorrow.

Little things

A long haul today from Cappadocia to Ankora. We left the ancient silk road and traveled north and west along the "Kings Road", the route Alexander the Great took on his hit world tour. We passed lake Tuz, a massive seasonal lake that is only 2 inches deep and stained red with plankton.

In Ankora we visited the Mausoleum of Mustapha Kemal better known as Attaturk, the founder of the republic. The large marble buildings are inspired by the Hittites and surrounded by a large wooded space. After that, the Anatolean Museum.

Very tired. I think my brain is full.

Here are some observations. Nothing detailed, just things I have noticed during my time here:

• Turkey has embraced energy efficiency. Every bulb I've seen has been a CFT. Often, the lobby and hallways of our hotels are unlighted until late afternoon.
  
  
• Their selection of candy and junkfood is quite good.
  
  
• Imams are not allowed to wear their clerical robes outside the Mosque. Sounds great right? Go secular state! But wait, Imams are actually civil servants. Tax money actually pays them a salary (though it doesn't pay for Mosques). This blew my mind at first and seems a complete contradiction. But think of it like this, how many civil servants do you know who are fanatical about their job? It makes a bizzare sense.
  
  
• The roads are pretty good here and the drivers are not maniacs. I could feel pretty confident renting a car here and driving it, even in the city.
  
  
• Turks like to keep their vehicles clean. I've seen taxi drivers washing their cars lovingly.
  
  
• I think its forbidden to show people smoking on tv. I saw a movie a few nights ago and they blurred out a characters hand as he smoked a pipe. Wierd.
  
  
• Youtube is blocked in Turkey
  
  
• Most homes use a passive solar water heater. A large tank sits on the roof and feeds water through a dark glass panel then into the house. These tanks are on the roofs of both the poor and the middle class
  
  
• When touring Cappadocia our guide 'Mus' told us that some of "Return of the Jedi" was filmed here. This, I knew, was complete B.S. but I just checked the web anyway. I am not sure how big a geek that makes me.
  

Cappadocia at last

Memories and experiences are piling up. I am unable to get all of them detailed here so I'll skip a few. We got to Cappadocia yesterday home of the famous fairy chimneys. This area saw great volcanic activity thousands of years ago. The different layers have different densities. Over the years the softer material has washed away, often with larger dense sections left atop them. It's impressive to say the damn least.

This is a large area that at one time supported a large monastic community who carved several chapels into the living rock. Everywhere you look there a little windows. It's surreal and beautiful.


This morning at 5:30 am we took off for a hot air balloon excursion. I took over 200 pictures, so many that I ran down my camera battery. I'll upload these later but here's one or two.





The little sliver of land you see below is where we tried to land, but wind being a fickle thing we did not. We pulled up at the last second, barely cleared a small hill and quickly landed on an even smaller sliver of land without tipping or catching the balloon on any of the many small trees that dot the landscape..

I cannot describe how awesome this trip was. We visited several scenic overlooks over the course of the day and I took many more pictures, but the experience of seeing this landscape from the air was the best. Of course, we were also subjected to several shopping excursions today. I was less angry with the carpet shop because its a working shop and it was actually very educational. We actually got to see silk cocoons being unwound to make into thread, something I have always wanted to learn about. At last came the sales pitch, but its was a very good one. They laid over every conceivable type of floor cover, from crude kilims to three award winning carpets that simply took our breath away.

Panorama of the sales pitch

In the end we gave serious though to a "dowry carpet" which wasn't even made by the shop but is instead made by women to part of their first homes furnishings. These are fairly rare and of course, pretty pricey. They put one of their best guys on us and I will say that he was good. Sure, he was the first Turk who I had yet seen with a mustache AND goatee like mine, but that didn't sway me at all... We managed to get away without spending a serious chunk of change, but it was the closest I've ever come to buying one of these.

I'd dearly love to hike around this area for a few days, but as always, time is our enemy. We depart for Ankara tomorrow.

By the Sea...

We rolled into Antalya two days ago. After so much go go go the group gets two whole nights in one place to get some wash done and catch up on sleep (must mornings start at 6am, hell there are times at home I don't go to bed until 3 or 4am).

The city is huge. It wasn't always so though. 12 years ago it was a small town with a charming old city (something rare in a country with so many earthquakes and a national obsession with modernization). Apparently the city has a kind of unspoken segregation. Russian and Eastern European tourists stay in the West part of the city, Everyone else uses the Eastern half. After hearing some horror stories of Russian tourists I am all to happy to let them have half the town.

We visit the old city, which is quaint with winding streets and some nice architecture. I would love to stay here at one of the small hotels. But the quiet days give way to raucus nights with loud bars, fights and prostitutes making it unbearable for anyone hoping to actually sleep at 3am. Too bad.

We visit the Perge museum which contains some amazing artifacts from Turkey's long history including some of the finest statues I've ever seen.



This morning we went to Aspendos, home of the most complete Roman theater in the world and it was truly a sight. Usually the elaborate backdrops are destroyed by time and material scavengers but not here. It's still in use today for operas and other large scale events.

Lots of things here are vast in scope so I took 8 pics and stitched them together.

Rossana backstage

We push on through the Taurus mountains heading inland along the ancient spice and silk trails. We stop at the grave of Rumi, the founder of the Sufi. In two days we'll get a chance to see actual dervishes (as opposed to the faux hotel shows). We shall see.


I took this picture during a brief roadside rest. It seemed to encapsulate three strong elements of Turkey. It's natural beauty, it's drive for progress in the form of the aluminum smelter and its ancient past.

Brain freeze..

There comes a point while visiting a country with vast natural and cultural beauty that your brain gets slightly overloaded. I think we reached that point yesterday.

Pammukale is not much to look at on first inspection. A shabby town in need of many civic repairs. Cheap pensions and the typical tourist stalls line the streets as you drive into town. The bus can barely make it up the narrow, rutted roads. Our hotel was comfortable enough and we turned in after a long day on the road. In the morning we drove up to the ancient city of Heiropolis in a light rain. What one sees there is another thing entirely. This was a spa town from waaaay back. And its not hard to see why. Natural hot springs deliver a mineral broth of calcium carbonate that over thousands of years has created a kind of frozen white waterfall down the side of the mountain. It is amazing to see. Pictures don't really do it much justice.


Especially mine. Hey, it was crappy weather. So take a look at some of these pics on flickr, which are much nicer.


Alas, earthquakes have shifted the natural water flow in the area. In fact, it must get 'a bath' once a week to maintain its form, and already iron is entering the system and staining some of the formations. You cannot swim or walk on the formations except for a small section.

I'd show you a cool pic of me but the net connection here is crappy and won't upload images for some reason. Just imagine it... it's pretty cool.


Hey I got it to work...


Luckily, there is an 'Antique Pool' on site which is quite nice. There you can cavort amongst fallen Roman Columns in steamy goodness amongst fat Russian Oligarchs and rude Germans.

The ruins of the ancient city are extensive, including many stone waterways that shunted the piping hot water throughout this city. There's a small museum build into an ancient bathhouse and a large necropolis outside the walls of the city. All warrant further exploration. Alas, time did not allow. We had to push through the Taurus mountains to get to Antalya. On the list of places I would expend the time and energy to return to Hieropolis is near the top.

Istanbul - Day 3

A more quiet day today. We packed up and stored our luggage at the hotel and made a last stab at Sultanahmet. This included a visit to the tomb of the areas namesake Sultan Ahmet.

At one point we tried to find the spice market but failed miserably. It may sound silly, but I really am proud of my 'Souk Sense' and failing to find it really upset me. We wound up going in circles. Had a great meal and got shortchanged. Frustrated, I wanted to call it quits. But with another check of our guidebook and with a few landmarks we managed to locate the street we wanted. Our reward? No actual spices. But we did find the street my partner Thomas and I visited 7 years ago on my first trip to this city. Shop after shop of silk scarves. We did some pre-haggling and are confident we can get even better prices later of when we are shopping in earnest.

Feeling better we departed the bazaar, made out way back to the hotel and were informed of the riots.


Riots? "Don't go to Taksim today. Very bad" Mehmet said, looking serious.
"Why"

"Is May first, workers day. Lots of protests. Communists, anti-communists, Labor party everybody. Lots of business closed".

This was, of course, exactly where we had to go. After some asking around we located a taxi to take us across the Bosporus so long as we went around the protests. No problem says us.

We drove along the shores of the Bosporus, the ancient city walls to our left, green parks with scored of people fishing and picnicing on the right. Our speed was absurd as it is in all foreign countries, but less alarming than Egypt. Here, drivers generally stay in one lane. The new hotelo, the Dedemon is large and mdern and we dislike it. No charm, no coziness. The pretentious concierge told us that if we could wait, the restaurant would be open in half and hour. Bah! We were hungry. So it was off down the street to the Bambi Cafe. Our sandwiches were a kind of gyro panini with french fried in them. Awesome, and cheap to boot.

I've been unable to find a three to two prong adaptor for my netbook so I'll likely be posting from my iphone for a bit. I used skype for iphone and made a call to my brother in the US and it worked fairly well given the crappy signal in our hotel room.

We met our tour guide Mustapha, or "Mus" as he wants to be called. Not as charming as our German guide. Mixed group of Americans, Canadians and lots of Aussies. Oddly, the Americans are the most foreign sounding of our group with several asians and a woman who may be cuban.

We'll be covering 2,200 miles in total this trip. And it begins tomorrow at 6am. Blogger acting a bit weird and not uploading pics. Might be our net connection. But rest assured I'm snapping lots of pics.

Istanbul - Day 2

Up bright and early. Lots to see. After breakfast of yogurt, apples, cheese, bread and tea we head off to the Basilica Cistern. This amazing structure was built to supply water to the palaces and was lost for quite a while. It is eerie and beautiful, dimly lit with amber light. Fish still live in the clear water. In one corner, you can still see the head of Medusa, a piece of stone taken from a ruined temple, used as a base for a support pillar.

Note: This isn't my picture

We then hit the bazaar again, this time I found the book dealers street. Awesome. I'll be back there soon. Oddly, books are the only thing that aren't haggled over, and they can be pricy.Taking a few twists we found a street where metal workers turned out some amazing antique reproductions. I even perused a few flintlocks. Sooo tempting. But we plan on holding off on major buying until the end of the trip. Other wise we'd be hauling all our swag around for two weeks. But still... soo shiny...



Back to the Tulip for a nap. Walking this much takes it out of you. Dinner at a rooftop restaurant with an amazing view of the Haiga Sophia and the Blue Mosque. We ate as the sun sank slowly in the West and the Muezzin called the faithful to prayer.



Istanbul is quite the Metropolitan place. It is the meeting of East and West. However I did not expect "West" to mean the American West. As we walked through the park that sits atop the ancient Hippodrome today we saw a group of Native Americans performing a tribal/new age dance/concert. Really, this was THE last thing I ever expected to see in the heart of Turkey. It was a bit surreal.



After dinner I chatted with Mehmet, the young hotel manager and his friend. We showed pictures of our respective homes. Mehmets friend is Kurdish (an oppresed minority in Turkey) and his fathers home is also underground though a bit more rugged. The surrounding mountainside however is breathtaking. A polish traveller joined us and were learned of Turkeys great sporting tradition of male oil wrestling. No, it's not what you think. Look it up.

Tomorrow we move across the Bosphorus to our new hotel and will meet up with our fellow travellers in the evening. Not sure what we'll get up to in the day. This city, for all its size, is oddly relaxing. It is clean and actually smells very nice. (The Old City areas in Morroco can best be descibed as smelling "Biblical"). Here you can smell the sea, fresh bread, roasting meat and flowers in the park.

Arrival

HAVE ARRIVED SAFE IN ISTANBUL STOP
LIVING IN 8 X 9 HOSTEL ROOM BEHIND HAIGA SOFIA STOP
TOMORROW BEGINS ADVENTURE STOP

--------------

This was one of the more low stress trips I have taken of late. Sure, it rained on the way to the airport, then I got a call AND and an email telling me peoples websites were acting up.

Care level = Zero. It would be dealt with later.


No lines anywhere. Flight to new York is smooth. Security there quick as well. In flight there are two seats free in our aisle. Passable food and and actually trusted us with metal eating utensils. Each seat had its own personal entertainment center. Nice touch. No real sleep, it's still a plane trip and a long one at that.

On arrival a tout tried to get us to take a bus to Sultanammet. "Only 60 Turkish Lira!" (about $38) "Mush faster!"

Really? The metro and tram system took us about an hour and cost us $3 total. Nice. Outer Instanbul is much like any other city. Modern, and with many concrete buildings. Similar to Cairo but more finished looking and no farms interspersed between buildings. But once you arrive in Sultanammet you are dumped at a lovely park right between the Blue Mosque and Haiha Sophia. Using my keen "Souk Sense" I tracked down our minescule hotstel and we checked in. At this point "resting me feet" became "passed out" for several hours.

We recovered enough to get out and find a few sights. At a small park I was befriended by this fellow who lumped up on my lap and proceeded to love me with great vigor. Rossana gave him some cheese which made him quite happy. Meanwhile my own cats treat me like I beat them with a rubber hose. I tell ya I don't get no respect...


We had dinner at a small restaurant nearby where our waiter asked if we were Americans. We took a chance and said 'Yes'.

"Do you like your new president?" he asked.

"Yes, very much."

"We do too. He was here three weeks ago. I go to see him and everyone shouting Obama! Obama! I could not get close enough. So many people."

That felt good. A few years ago in Egypt I had an awkward discussion with a friendly merchant while awaiting delivery of some goods. Today I felt quite comfortable being an American abroad. Of course, the Turkish people are genuinely very friendly. After diner we strolled to the lit Blue Mosque.


Tomorrow we start exploring more on our own.

The Gear,

There was a time when all a man needed to travel the exotic East was a compass, a canteen of water and 4000 Sherpa. So what am I taking?

1. iPhone - Not for calls or email. I have two Turkish translation programs. Also good for currency exchange.
   
   
2. Acer One Netbook - I'll post to the blog when wifi is available. Also a journal and backup for photos.
   
   
3. Canon Digital camera - It's a bit beaten up but it takes some nice pics.
   
   
4. Travel Journal - I've kept one for each trip. Never crashes. Good for notes, drawings etc.
   
   
5. Messenger bag - Holds lots of stuff including maps, book, passport, led light, journal, energy bar, hand sanitizer, camera, leatherman tool, business cards, one tea bag, pens and compass.
   
   
6. Money belts and pouches - To get all my money you will have to strip me naked and put on rubber gloves.
   
   
7. Tilley Hat - Best hat ever.

Oklahoma = Fun

I almost forgot that I shot this short bit of video while we hunkered down during the great dust storm that was the Norman Oklahoma show. We were assaulted by this piece of trash for literally 10 minutes. Then the wind kicked up again and blew it, and a small child, to god only knows where.

Down to the wire.

We leave soon for Turkey. I am desperately working to get two clients websites moved to new hosting. This has not been easy since many of the tech support people are complete idiots. I don't use terms like this lightly. They have cocked this process up seven ways to sunday.

Trying to get stuff done around the house. I finally got the chance to pack (Rossana, of course, was ready weeks ago and has merely been tweaking her bag). Downloaded a Turkish translation app for the iphone. I won't be using it for email or calls over there waaaaaay too expensive unless its an emergency. I will be taking my Netbook with me and blogging whenever I find a few drops of wifi.

For a short preview of what we might see in Turkey I present this tourism ad. I'm not sure about the giant horsemen or the flying mermaids. Looks dangerous.

Ouch

With regards to Oklahoma one COULD use the term "The less said about this the better" but that would be a cop out. The show was brutal. Cold, hot, dust, wind, wind, wind, more dust,tent damage...Ask me about it someday and I'll lay out some of the fun details in epic style.

But we made money. Not as much as I'd like to be frank, but its only a three day event. I'd go back. Rossana? I don't think I'll broach the subject for good 8 months.

The cherry on this cake was our return drive. After tear down and pack up we could only drive about 4-5 hours. We stayed at a motel that usually exists only in movies. Our room was entirely Elvis themed with posters, faux platinum records and purple satin sheets. Breakfast was at a diner that time forgot. Good food served by people who still believe Eisenhower is President.

But the charm of that bubble in time had worn off 13 hours later as we trudged up I-71. Somewhere south of Rt 250 Rossana hit a patch of black ice. I was asleep in the back but you wake up pretty fucking fast when the swerving and screaming starts. Three violent swerves in as many seconds and we struck the guard rail sending me across the van along with assorted luggage. There were two things that kept us from getting seriously messed up. Luck was one. There was an off ramp to the right of us when we started to loose traction. 20 feet more and we would have rolled over, Rossana's great driving was the other. By the time we hit the guard rail we were almost perfectly paralell to it. The impact mashed up the side of the van but didn't harm the wheels, doors or any windows. After making sure we were still cabable of driving we crawled home, getting in at about 4am. I seem to be the only one who took damage when I hit the door of the van. My right forearm hurts like hell. We also broke a mirror.

All in all, not the best weekend ever.

Chicago...Chicago...

Capricon was this weekend. A new one for us and a chance to try out our new Garmin Nuvi 760 GPS. We've had a GPS for several years (we call it "The Oracle") and it has some nice features like a huge touchscreen. But the girl was showing her age. So we handed it over to our new Minion and made the plunge on a new one. The 760 was on sale and had most of the features I wanted.

First and most uselessly- it has several different voices. We have settled on "Daniel". I was perfectly happy with the default "Helen" since men are by nature trained to obey a commanding female voices, but Rossana likes "Daniel" even though he uses the work "Slip road" instead of "Exit".

The unit took us to Chicago and then promptly told us to get off the highway and travel through Chinatown. It apparently receives traffic updates from a spirit guide and was trying to keep us out of danger. All in all I give it a B+ for the trip out.

For some reason setup took forever. What made it worse was the total lack of any moisture in the hotel or its environs. It was seriously uncomfortable. Our throats were parched despite glass after glass of water, our lips started to chap, the skin on our hands peeled. I've spent time in the actual Sahara and this was by far more uncomfortable. We did okay sales but Rossana was saddled with a lerger than normal number of annoying people. I mean REALLY annoying people. We deal with people all the time, so imagine what it takes to get under our skin. But there were some cool people as well. People who were getting into steampunk. Enthusiastic people. We were begged to come to WindyCon in November and we agreed.

We had to stay an extra day in the windy (and sub-zero) city so that we could stop by the Turkish consulate to get our travel visas. There is a company that does this for you for a fee, but it involves mailing your passwort to them, and Rossana just could not let her passport go somewhere without her. Daniel got us to the area and we quickly learned that Chicago was raped and beaten by a white van as a child. That's the only explanation I can think of for the way our vehicle was treated at the local parking garages. $35 an HOUR??? We found parking on the street and entered the consular offices, which look very much like any other office except you have to go through a metal detector first. This search wasn't quite a thorough as it could have been. They checked my messerger bag and Rossana's purse but they did not search my large jacket, whoch could have held and UZI and a vest bomb for all they knew.

We handed over our passports and application along with $45 each and were told to come back after 2:30. With nothing else to do I consulted Daniel (who can operate on battery power) and found the Chicago Art Institute not far away. After a bit of culture we picked up our passports and tried to go home. Alas, Daniel seemed to have suffered some kind of annyurism and couldn't find satalite signal for a while, then told us to get off 90 only to have us get right back on again. I hive Daniel a C for the trip home.

Today was errands and paperwork. We leave for Florida tomorrow where I pray there is some moisture. So.... dry...

Looking for a job?

We just finished ChattaCon, which wasn't gangbusters but it did make a profit and get us into the selling mood. While driving home Rossana and I discussed an idea we've kicked around before of bringing in another sales person to handle shows that we can't get to for whatever reason.

So here it is, do you want COOLEST JOB in the WORLD? We're looking for someone to travel to shows in the Midwest to tie up hot chicks in corsets. (Sounds great, right? Well there are some caveats. Read on)

• We want someone who has some experience with one or all of the following type of events: Renaissance Fairs, the SCA, Science Fiction conventions or fetish shows.

• Must be able to travel. Some shows will be one day, others a weekend and some will require being gone from Thursday till Monday with driving time. We will cover travel expenses.

• Must be friendly, personable, and able to interact with a WIDE range of people.

• Must be able to schlep (carry) our stock and all sales equipment. Corsets can be heavy.

• Non Smoker. Clean driving record. Non-drinker preferred.
  

• Must be able to do simple bookkeeping.
  

• Must have reliable transportation. (And must not be a sub-compact)

• Computer literate (can email, IM etc. Photoshop and others skills a plus)

• Sewing skills a double bonus
  

• If female, must be willing to wear our product for duration of event

• An Ohio resident would be nice, but isn't required
  

If you're still reading, I am impressed. We will train you to the best of our ability, but you need to have some innate salesmanship skills. Above all you need to be honest and trustworthy. Our company has a very good reputation. We pride ourselves on good customer service.

What does this dream job pay? I can't give you a definite answer. I can say that there is a base pay with a bonus for meeting certain sales numbers. Also, you get to make money for attending events you have paid to attend in the past, which is pretty cool. We're hoping line up at least 2 shows a month, but more are possible in the summer months


If you think you'd like this job send me an email at steve.pack@gmail.com with your experience, and a photo if possible. I'll get back to you with more details. If you know someone who you think might be right for this job, please forward them this message.

Bread and Circuses

I've just heard that Rome intends to bring back the Gladiatorial games at the Colosseum (or more correctly at the Flavian Amphitheater) next year. Sure, they will be watered down. But still. Gladiator combat IN THE COLOSSEUM! If the Romans were smart they would contract with the UFC and turn this into a money making machine for the city.

I would truly dig getting to fight here even if it's a demo or with non-lethal weapons. To stand where so many stood before you, being cheered by the crazed citizens of a bloodthirsty expansionist empire. Of wait, we have that already with Monday night football. And for real violence catch a Manchester United game in Spain.

As an aside, there are some Christian fundies that I'd love to toss in for authenticity purposes...

Whale Wars

If you've not heard of this show I urge you to seek it out. It's pretty cool. The 7 part show follows the Sea Sheppard's as they attempt to locate and disrupt the Japanese whaling fleet in Antarctica. In short, the Japanese can hunt down and perform "research" on a limited number of whales every year and then sell off the 'specimens' for a whacking profit. There are laws protecting the whales, but there is a grey area that no country seems willing to deal with. Unlike Greenpeace, the Sea Shepperd's believe in direct action/confrontation. Take a look at this trailer. You have to admit, it looks pretty badass.




But watching this group of seasoned veterans and mostly young volunteers is a little painful. They SO remind me of the kids I met down in New Orleans in the 9th ward. These were people who were driven. They were 100% dedicated. They were willing to risk life and limb for what they believe in. But they are also terribly unprepared for the task. Most of the volunteers have almost no training and as a result their very lives are at serious risk as they ply the Antarctic. Several people are injured as a result of stupid mistakes. Simple safety procedures are not followed resulting in near disaster.

They are also media whores. Which is important because they want to bring attention to their cause. They actually have two people board a Japanese ship, and then tell the press that they have been 'kidnapped'. They throw stink bombs and deploy prop fouler lines. All in the name of their cause. Which they are very dedicated to. They aren't taking pictures or writing letters. They are taking the fight to the enemy. They are brave and they are foolish and I hope they make a difference.

Hobbity Goodness

Stumbled across this by sheer chance. If I'm ever in New Zealand I'll be sure to stop by this theme motel. (Click on Hobbit theme motel on left)

Steampunk Con in California

Rossana and I flew out to San Jose to check out the Steampunk scene and see if it's a viable business avenue. We brought along Brass goggles, tshirts and some props but no corsets.

This was a first year con at a small boutique hotel. The hotel was modern, which didn't help the atmosphere but it was comfy. Our room was right on the main floor and no more than a stones throw from the dealers room. You have no idea the schlepping we normally do at a show. It was a joy to get dressed, step out our room door and sit down for breakfast, then walk a few steps and open shop. Heaven.

The con itself was well run and fairly well attended. The thing i loved was how different it felt. Lots of very different and creative costumes. The dealers room was actually interesting to walk through. The people we fun to chat with.

The big event was to have been the inaugural flight on board Americas first passenger Zeppelin in 70 years. Alas, when we arrived the weather was drizzling and the flights were canceled. It was a real bummer.

While there we ate at an Afghan restaurant and it was a delight. The food was amazing and I would encourage you to try it if the opportunity presents itself.

I greatly enjoyed the event. We made enough in sales to pay for the trip and got a lot of cool ideas. They've move the date next year so I don't know if we'll be able to make it. But with luck the East coast will come up with a steampunk con by then.

Here are some pics for you to check out.

To sleep, perchance to dream...

It's over, the month from Hell. Great Lakes, to Pennsic, to Great Lakes for teardown, home for 1 day and then off to Indianapolis for a week. Very tired.

This was a roller coaster ride. Pennsic was great, but it was camping for two weeks and for the first time, it was work. Sure, helping run Hell Nite and other events was like work, but my livelihood didn't depend on it. When we got back to Great lakes it rained the last weekend. And when we packed up? There just wasn't enough room for everything to go home. We have to go pick some of it up tomorrow.

We dropped off stock to Michigan Ren without incident, but we arrived at GenCon with a LOT of stuff supposedly "in the mail" to us. Most of it arrived. Then, my wallet went missing. We tore apart the room, which was the ONLY place it could be before I reluctantly called the credit card companies and bank to report the loss. It then proceeded to turn up 12 hours later in my wife's corset. When we got back home I learned that my bank did'nt cancel the most important check card. Swell job guys.

GenCon was a big hit sales-wise. We carried the new brass goggles, some steampunk airship academy t-shirts I designed, and some nifty gothic clothing from a company called Eternal Love. In fact, things went so well we were literally tripping over each other in our cramped space. I have bit the bullet and decided that next year we will get a double space. It's a big expense, but I think it will help us get seen.

Michigan did outstanding its opening day, and then went into the toilet the second. Weird.

And then there's the big news. Great Lakes is being shifted back one week next year. This means it will overlap the opening of Michigan AND GenCon. This is being done because the owner of Great Lakes isn't making much money on the 4th of July weekend. People are off doing family things. So he's decided to screw EVERYONE. There was no warning about this. Rossana only noticed it because she actually reads contracts and other documents. I am furious. I've been with this show for over 12 years but I am willing to just walk away if they do this. Screw them. My only major headache is that I JUST bought a fucking booth that I spend a good chunk of time cleaning up and painting. I think I can sell it but it would have been better if I had started that process during the season for exposure.

Pennsic could easily replace Great Lakes and I'd get 4 weeks of my life back. I don't want to give up Great Lakes, but I simply will NOT take their bullshit. It would be damn near impossible to have decent stock and staff for three events.

Sigh.

I'm glad to be home. I spent a few hours trying to put away all my tools and clean up my shop a little. Everything is a mess. My office, the garage, my shop even the yard still has traces of the party left over here and there.

At the starting gate...

Tomorrow is thew last day we'll be home for a while. After tomorrow we leave the cats in the care of our sitters and head off to work Great Lakes AND Pennsic. I am apprehensive about doing Pennsic as a merchant. In the 20+ years I have been going it has always been my vacation. I started going when I was 16. I've never missed one. Eventually working in medieval clothing became by job and I still went. Due to overlapping schedules the last few years I have had to leave Pennsic to go and do a Ren Faire. And now? I leave a show, to go do a 2 week show. When I get back from that I'll run up to Michigan to drop off stuff for a show and then go do a show.

Wow.

We did this last year and it somehow all worked out. Except that last year Pennsic was still my vacation.

I'm feeling bad because I won't be able to hang out in my home camp of Pentwyvern as much. It's changed a lot over the years, but I still consider it home. It is an old and comfortable pair of shoes. But working the show means I can't help as much with set up or other camp activities.

On the other hand I helped build our camps shower trailer, ran a chair making day at the house, helped design and build our awesome siege tower and helped create and run Hell Nite, our massive and very fun camp party.

I should feel fine about taking time off from camp stuff. But I don't. Then there's the fact that Pennsic last year was BRUTALLY hot. We are still in a war and the economy is in the shitter. I hear rumors about a 17% drop in attendance. Gas is $4 a gallon. People are stuggling just to get to the event. Will they buy?

Deep breath.

On the up side, I will still be at Pennsic. This is where my friends are. It is still one of the coolest events around, and I have attended my fair share of events now. If you're at war and have a few minutes, feel free to stop by ther booth. I promise I won't try to sell you anything. (Although I can't promise you won't buy anything).

Another reason I love Germany...

Rossana bought a cheap pair of sunglasses in Germany and at some point near the end of the trip they went AWOL. We just assumed we'd left them on the bus or at a cafe. It turns out we had left them at the house of a friend we visited there.

So what does he do? He mails them back to us in the US! Not content with bubble plastic he also bought a case for them just to make sure they arrived safe and sound along with a CD of images he took in Egypt a few years ago where we met him. Germany (and those that reside within its borders) rock.

Albert, you're the man!

Death and Funk

The phone rang too early.

"Hello?" I asked blearily.

"You're working Maron this weekend, right? In Columbus?" a voice asked.

"Yeah."

"I thought you should know that your Guest of Honor, Robert Asprin just died."

"Swell."

It never bodes well when a conventions guest of honor passes away expectantly. I wasn't a rabid far but I did enjoy his written work and always planned on reading more some time. And now? Well, the show goes on...

Lindsey and I went to load the car and the moment we opened the door to the van I knew something was wrong. The van reeked of death.

Something much have carwled up into so inaccessable hole and died. Fabreeze did almost nothing. Death weas everywhere. Not a good sign.

There was no time to investigate, we loaded up and drove down to Columbus with the windows open.

Marcon is one of the VERY few shows that is run by pretty damn competent trained monkeys. This is in stark contrast to the majority of shows, conventions and even Ren Faires we do over the course of the year. They do not loose paperwork. They send you a map of where the loading dock is. They help you unload!!!! And when you're set up? They offer free soda and cookies. Really. For this I and the rest of my fellow godless capitallists are eternally grateful.

The crowd was looking a bit thin at the start of things. I mean almost scarce. There are always theories for this. The economy, gas prices, competing events. We merchants are great at determining reasons why the hall isn't packed like it used to be. But that didn't mattter. Once the doors opened we started moving corsets. And with the influx of people comes the usual cast of 'colorful' characters.

Charly is what many long time con-goers would call a 'creepy camera guy'. Short, heavy-set, thick glasses and thin mustach. He is constantly taking pictures, usually of women. I used to avoid him if at all possible. He didn't seem to hang with any of the social groups that I did. But Rossana is a kinder soul than I and a better judge of character. She talked with him and then I got to talking with him a few years back. Now he shows up with stacks of prints which he gives away for free to people he photographed the previous year. He's no Ansel Adams, but he's actually a pretty nice guy. Last year the day after the con he was nearly killed when a kid with no license and no insurance crashed into him while he was riding his bike (he doesn't have a car). I was taken alittle aback. Marcon without Charley wouldn't feel right.

Not long after another friend I haven't seen in quite a while stopped by. His story was even wierder. It seems that he, after studying for and obtaining his conceal carry gun permit, had purchased a handgun several onths back. He bought the gun at about 11am. What happened next is a little unclear. But he somehow managed to take the loaded weapon and for reasons known only to him, went to tuck it between his legs. In doing this he somehow cocked the gun, and then discharged it. He shot himself in the leg at about 4pm, five hours after getting the gun. Luckily he missed his ding-ding and the femoral artery. It was a clean through and through. He drove himself to the hospital. He's had some legal troubles as a result, which strangely enough would have been far worse if he hadn't gotten his conceal carry permit. This was why I hadn;t heard from him in a while.

By the end of the day I was feeling dizzy from the wierdness that pervaded the air. Rossana turned in but Lindsey and I were restless. We hit a room party on the fifth floor of the Hyatt Regency. This is the floor specifically set aside for parties. This is where many of the legendary U.B.S. Casual Star Trek themed parties took place. Parties that would generate so much body hear and funk that the fire alarms often went off. The party we attended was thrown by a fellow merchant and wasn't too big. I helped serve drinks a while before I had to get out. Hotel room air conditioners simply cannot handle 20 people in them at the same time. I needed air.

I took up position in the celebrity autograph area which was empty at that late hour. I used a crayon to make two signs "Free Advice" and "Free Insults". This kept us busy for a while and even earned me a $5 tip.

We wrapped things up Sunday and drove home bone tired, the van still smelling of death, but it didn't matter. We were alive, our friends were still alive. That was the important thing.

Pretty Pictures

Safely back in the states. But there's lots to do. We're off to Marcon this weekend but I wanted to throw up a few of the more artsy pictures I took in Germany. have a look-see.

Germany - Artsy Pics

Misnomer...

I am not sure why they call it the 'Romantic Road'. Oh sure, it's scenic as hell. Rolling Green hills passing through quaint medieval towns. But this involves driving. In Germany. It takes three years and about 3000 euros to get a drivers license here. They know what the hell they are doing on the road.

I, by comparison, do not.

Our first day with the car was not so much Romantic Road as 'Mad Max'. With yelling. It is better today. We are in Dinklesbüle south of Rothenburg. Great little town. Winding streets with surprises around every corner. We may be trapped here a while. The town appeared abandoned most of the day. It was eerie. Like a zombie movie. The cause was a championship soccer match with the Beyer team won. TV's are showing the city of Munich in a state of ecstatic celebration. Wait till the beer kicks in and the rioting begins. We haven't reserved a room there yet, not sure if we can. Then there's the problem of not wanting to leave. We love this place. Really. I could learn to live in a medieval city, to recycle, to drink beer and have streets clean enough to eat off of. I could get used to trains that run on time, politeness and more kinds of sausage than you can shake a stick at.

And then there's the German addiction to Ice Cream and Baked goods. Don't get me started.

Gotta go now, the bells of the church are chiming the hour. Cake time.

I am a bad person...

I must be. When we rolled into the medieval walled city of Rothenberg we were just blown away. Sparred from bombing in WWII is is so well preserved. But the tour only allowed 2 hours or so to see it all. We might wave grudgingly accepted this fate except that THAT very day a medieval pageant was going on commemorating the town being saved from an invading Swiss army. Apparently the Swiss general bet the mayor that he couldn't drink 6 liters of his towns best wine. The Mayor stepped up and delivered. And now the streets were filled with musketeers, artists, pikemen, musicians, a period market.

This was torture.

And what were we supposed to see after a mere two hours in this paradise?

Dachau concentration camp.

And so, we quickly found a local tourism office, tracked town a schedule for the trains, found the tour director and told him outright that we were staying and that we would make our way to Munich on our own. He let us go and we spent the day in the town. Amazing.

Does this make me a bad person? I don't know. At the end of the day as we saw next to a drunken squad of German soldiers I had to admit that my soda tasted no less delicious.

And if I wanted to be technical, we did visit Dachau. Our train passed through the station on our way to the city. So..... Yeah.

Now we're in the Black Forrest region, eating torte and drinking schnapps. Tomorrow he head to Heidelberg and then back to Frankfurt.

Sausages!

Nuremberg

Yesterday we abandoned the tour group and made our way to Leipzig for the Wave Gothic Treffin event. Think Pennsic for goths. What an event. What a day. I will have to wait until I get home to tell the tales of that day. I think it unwise to discuss details while I am still in the country and could face prosecution. Needless to say we made it back to Dresden just in time to head out to the lovely city of Nuremberg.

I am enjoying the tour more and more. Yes, it has drawbacks but we are covering a lot of ground. The one dark cloud so far is and whacking big pain in the ass...Rita.

Rossana pegged her as trouble the moment she opened her mouth. Loud, constantly interrupting, butting into conversations. She rambles endlessly. And it's not just us, she annoys everyone in the group. After a few days of observation we pegged her as suffering some form of metal illness. This doesn't make her any less annoying. People are actively trying to avoid her, but that's not easy.

I have come to really appreciate Germany. It is clean in every sense and they are really going green. There are wind turbines everywhere. Urinals that don't use water. Recycling. The air, the sky, they are somehow brighter.

Today our guide talked about the process of reunification or what happened after the wall came down. It was quite a struggle. West Germany basically inherited an entire country that was broken and broken badly. It took years and Billions of Euros on top of the already high taxes Germans pay. But they did it. So why can't the US rebuild the Gulf Coast?

There is more, much more. I've taken lots of pics, some of which I really hope come out like the armory in the Zwinger Palace or the Altes Museum in Berlin.

Tomorrow we visit Dachau. I would prefer to skip it. My interest in Germany is based in its more distant past. We've already seen several examples of the brutality and waste that was communism in the DDR. This morning we visited a tiny town of only 60 people that was cut in half by the East/West border. For forty years the townspeople couldn't talk or see each other, separated by barbed wire and guard towers. Insanity. Dachau will be far worse.

After that its on to Munich for two days. And after that, we are on our own. So far nothing at home seems to have broken down or caught fire. (knock on wood).

No time! Must keep moving!

We are in lovely Hamburg. This is one clean country. Efficient and well maintained. Took a short Rhein cruise which convinced me that should we ever return we will take a longer one. Because we have a lot of ground to cover we cannot visit some small towns. Todaz, Berlin and some of their wonderful museums.

The group is mixed, I am, alas the youngest person on it. We have stayed at only modern hotels so far, a concession to American demands no doubt. Too bad, I would have like to try some grottty little local Gasthaus.

Limited web access. Most hotels try to rape you for it. Everything is pretty damn expensive. A coke, is 4 to 5 bucks. I need to get back to Turkey where the dollar has some punch. Gotta go, the bus is loading. The weather here is great. Spring is in full bloom and the rolling countyside is great.

More when I get a free moment. Onward, ever onward...

Hack wheeeze cough

Back from Biloxi but sick as a dog. CoastCon was a bit of a letdown. The convention center isn't done with renovations, attendance was a bit light and no one had any damn money.

But I'm still glad I went.

I wanted to see Biloxi again. See how it was faring. I got a chance to drive around a bit and I must say that things are looking pretty good on the surface. The mountains of debris are gone. The uprooted trees, boats and smashed houses. There are empty concrete slabs along the coast, but there is also a flurry of building. Oddly, the coast looks better without the squat barge/casinos.

I drove by the stadium where I worked witht he Salvation Army. They are still there. Dedicated folks those guys. When I went by the church where we had stayed with Hands On USA there was no sign of them. Packed up and helping out elsewhere I guess.

There was no time to get to New Orleans. And If there had been I might have been depressed by the lack of progress.

While in Biloxi I stayed with Vlad and his lovely wife, which is always a hoot. We ate well and told stories of Pennsics past. I would like to have stayed another day down there but Lindsey had school projects and I had to start work on the new booth at the Great Lakes Faire. Rossana and I made a good start. Raking up and clearing out the last remnants of the old RenBoots stuff. Technically this booth has the largest sales area of all out shops! There is painting and carpentry and decorating to do but we have time for that. I can't tell you how nice it is not to have to tent a show. It's a pant to set up, keep dry, take down and store a tent.

With the better weather the house can be tended to. Rossana had trimmed back the grape vines and I have started to gather up lawn debris. Lots of house projects to do. And never enough time.

Technology...is there anything it CAN do?

Back on the road at the North Carolina Ren faire. This is the show we specifically bought a GPS unit for. This expensive bit of technology frankly has NO idea where the hell anything is. We justhad the unit repaired and I'm beginning to think that it was a waste of money. Of course, this area DOES have a lot of construction. We had to hit Walmart for some lights. My iphone got us the address.

But when we got to the area the store was literally hidden behind some low hills and scrubs. Bonus? NO SIGNS. I understand cities not wanting large ugly signs soaring into the sky. I do. But NO signs? We only found the place by sheer chance.

I would hate to be a business in this area. You could be giving away free bars of gold with complimentary steak diners and blowjobs but there's no way anyone will ever find you in this place of madness.

Other than that, all is well. Setup went fine. It will be cold tomorrow. Well, 60 degrees. That is considered cold around these parts. In Ohio we go out and play water polo in the freshly thawed lake. Go figure.

Related to absolutely nothing, GO SEE 'DOOMSDAY". It totally rocks. Don't think about it too much. Just enjoy the pretty pictures. Double bonus? The use of Frankie Goes to Hollywoods "Two Tribes" during a car chase straight out of Mad Max 2.

MegaCon and more

I ran into R2 at the Con. He looks good for his age but I thought he might want to try out "The Shatner" model to keep that slight gut in check.


















The very rare double headed Rhino. She's a beauty!





















THIS is what you look like after the ride that "doesn't get you very wet" according to my beloved wife.

















Two lorikeets sharing some nectar at Busch Gardens

Back at it

We cruised down to Chattanooga, TN for Chattacon. It's held at the...wait for it...Chatanooga Choo Choo hotel, which is actually several hotels and buildings lumped together. The main building is an old train station that is very beautiful if you (like me) love rivets and girders. Several train cars are actually rooms you can stay in. There are three hotel buildings and the convention rooms.

The facility has seen some wear and tear. I imagine it takes a lot to maintain this place and it needs a little TLC. The event itself had moderate attendance at best. We had a good spot in the dealers room, which is rare. We were only open for a short time on Friday but by mid-saturday several dealers were asking us "So, how ya' doing?".

Dealers rarely divulge how much they are actually making at an event. I never give numbers as it seems to be poor taste and you never know who works for the IRS. But one can take the above statement and discern a great deal by HOW it is asked.

If you're chatting with a dealer and he eventually asks "How are you doing? He is having a pretty good day and hopes you are as well.

If a dealer comes and talks to you and asks "How ya doing today?" He likely had a good first day but is slow second day."

And if several dealers ask"So, how you doing?" It means "Are you sucking as bad as I am, please say yes so I don't feel like I'm doing something wrong god why did I ever do this crappy show". The 'So' is the telltale sign that everyone is just hoping to cover hotel costs, food and gas to get home.

Of course, if you don't have time to chat, things are actually going great. You're making money.

Somehow, we managed to do fairly well. This was in contrast to everyone else we spoke with. There were four tshirt vendors, an over saturation by any definition. There were two other corset dealers but our selection, quality and superior sales technique helped us out.

The very cool Nigel deSade was there as well as Jenny Breeden from the web comic The Devils Panties.

After the long Saturday sales day we wandered over to the Con suite and did a little impromptu drumming and dancing (I drumming, Rossana showing the younger generation that she has forgotten more than they will ever know)

We then wandered over to a room party with a Firefly theme run by some dedicated browncoats that was pretty cool. There was punch and chinese food and they had decorated the room with props and cammo netting. A guy even gave me some prop colonial money he'd designed. Sweet.

Achingly Beautiful

In addition to my love of paper ephemera, I have a deep love of old books and journals. So, of course any place that stockpiles them, any place that lavishly displays thousands of tomes in soaring cathedral like locals is enough to send my salivary glands into overdive. I present to you a wonderful collection of libraries I will some day have sex in around the world. Wait...what? Forget the sex part. I meant visit, libraries i will visit someday.

Courtesy of Curious Expeditions

The most amazing thing you've ever seen...

People throw that term around a lot. But i think I can safely say that the following link will take you to a story about a place so amazing, made in secret by people with such passion, that you will agree with my statement that it is the most amazing thing ever. I don't know if it's possible to visit this place, but I am damn well going to try.


I give you, The Temples of Damanhur

I present to you..

Mr. and Mrs. Holiday! That's the new name and I rather like it. It will take a while to get used to. Goodman has been just Goodman for so long that he has entered the one-name celebrity circle, like Cher or Bono.

The wedding went off without any real hitches. There was a part in the ceremony where the parents stood and gave their blessings but in all the excitement leading up to the event kelly and Good forgot to actually tell the parents this. Luckily they had a pro at the wheel (cough me cough) and we smoothly got the parents to give their hearty blessings without missing a beat. The ceremony even had a small part for Hanah, Kellys daughter, who seems to dig Goodman and the feeling is mutual. I will have pics soon from family as I took none of my own. It was a very fun wedding. The laser tag contest to determine the best man was a blast. I am proud to say that I took second place. All those days I spent playing Photon in my youth were not wasted.

The pizza place/arcade/go cart/laser tag place was pretty cool and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves tremendously. Sometimes adults don't play enough. I got Rossana to play a samurai sword fighting game that uses a virtual sword you really swing and she rocked on it.

After the ceremony I signed the marriage certificate. As I had registered with the Universal Life Church so that my job as minister would be legit, I took great and wicked delight as listing my title as "The Right Revered Steven Pack". You may feel free to address me by this title when you see me, but I insist you say it correctly, loudly and with a slight southern accent.

I also hope to post a copy of the wedding program which is one of the funniest reads I have had in a while.

My nerdiness is showing...

The History channel is playing the Young Indiana Jones Adventures, a show I really liked back when it first came out. The show follows a 9 year old and a teenage version of Indy in his adventures around the globe. The ones with the younger Indy I never really liked as much, the child actor isn't that good and the pacing of the shows is bad. I do give them points for actually filming on location. The Moroccan episode is pretty good but an Egyptian segment left me scratching my head. In it, the young Indy and his tutor are left high and dry by their camel driver when they decide to climb one of the small Pyramids on the Giza plateau. Aside from the unlikeliness of a guide abandoning the balance of his pay, there are NO other tourists in the area??? By the time they get down the sun is setting. A young T.E. Lawrence arrives on a bike and they decide to make a camp for the night using camel dung for fuel.

But having been to the Giza plateau I know that its actually a very short walk from the Pyramids to the edge of Cairo. In fact, we could see the Pyramids from our hotel room at the Mena house Hotel (which was a hotel at the turn of the century as well). They could have walked a few hundred yards, sat down for tea and gotten a cab. Hardly an epic journey.

I know they had to raise the tension but I hate when basic facts are messed with. I won't even go into the Egyptology parts where they meet up with Howard Carter in the Valley of the Kings. They show a man blasting the area with dynamite, which I don't believe Carter ever did since the area is unstable limestone, (although the Italian Egyptologist Caviglia did use Dynamite on one of the pyramids).

I know, I know. It's just a show. But it bugs me.

Off to Spain! or maybe not...

For months I've been thinking that we are going to go to Spain this Winter or early Spring if money is available. It's a country that I heard some wonderful things about and I literally promised a dying man I would visit it some day. But finding a tour company with an itinerary we like has not worked out so well. I don't care about discos, or modern cities or shoe shopping. I know there is a lot to see there, it's just been hard to find a company that focuses on it. So today we're in Oberlin and on a whim we go into AAA to see if they can help. In short, nothing they showed us was super amazing. But as I was leafing through the Winter tour brochure of Europe my eye fell on a Danube River cruise. And unlike the Spain tours, this one promises to be dripping with Medieval castles, markets, monasteries and palaces.

Germany knows what appeals to it's visitors and is all too happy to oblige them. The travel is by boat so only one unpacking. More time to see and do.

Of course, doing Spain by ourselves is a real option. Get our own car. It's left hand drive (we've driven in the UK but it's always nice to be in ones comfort zone when driving public roads with crazy people). We could set our own itinerary, see some really obscure sites. On the other hand we're talking Germany and Austria here and that means pastries. And I like pastries.

Timing is the other concern. The German tour is in December, a time of the year when Rossana and I both get itchy. It's weird. We don't like Xmas here, but we're thinking about visiting Germany at the same time of year. Maybe their Xmas doesn't feel like an loud consumer buybuybuy whorefest.

It's time to go, man. Go go go.

The world is vast and beautiful and while it looks great on TV, you can't experience it that way.