It is done!

At long last my secret project has come to fruition! Announcing the Mark 1 Brass Goggles. I'll be selling these things over at my website www.got-steam.com

This represents about 2 months of solid work. It was also a great learning experience. I displayed these at ChattaCon and have already sold a few pair. They are indeed pricey, but I think there is a market for a pair of high end brass goggles in the steampunk community.

iphone > Droid

I went to the mall the other day (shiver) to put my meaty paws on the new Droid smartphone from Verizon. Like any iphone owner, I would gladly pay a hefty fine and/or take hit to the nuts if I could switch from AT&T's craptastic network to Verizon's land of milk and honey.

And with the coming of Droid I thought that I might have found a reason to undergo the painful process of migration. After all, the phone is getting rave reviews. It uses the Android OS from Google which is far more open that Apple's. New apps appearing every day, free GPS navigation using google maps. What's not to love?

Well, the Droid IS good, but it's not awesome, at least in my opinion based on limited hands on experience.

It is well made. Solid. Nice looking. The screen is very sharp. But what they put on it is not nearly as polished as the iphone. It's cluttered. I know it can be configured however you want it but using it wasn't the simple process I'd hoped it would be.

The biggest drawback is the physical keyboard. It just isn't isn't made for my fingers. Period. They sit on a flat plain and one has to depress the center to activate them. The Sidekick had a much better keyboard for us big folk. The on-screen keyboard was okay, but not great. I am sure with practice I could be proficient with it. People have said the camera, while 5 MP, isn't all that great.

But for me, the biggest stumbling black was tapping on some kind of news bubble app and having it crash. Then I launched another app, and it crashed. Two crashes? Really? The Droid can run several programs at once, unlike the iphone. But it's rare that I'm listening to Pandora while IM'ing and uploading pics to my facebook account. And if I do try to do several things at once, the delay in starting an iphone app up is about a second. (Games do tend to take longer to launch). I was impressed, I just wasn't wow'ed.

It is on the network I crave. And with a little polish I am sure the usability will improve. But for now I am still happy with my iphone. It does what I need it to do without any fiddling or crashing. That's my 2 cents. Anyone got one out there who cares to share their experience?

More clever monkeys

Ok, I'm gonna need someone to take my wallet for a few weeks so I cannot order this thing. I mean, a working tricorder media player? For $350? Dammit! This is the kind of thing I would have given my left nut for a back in my more fervent fanboy days. And now that I'm a "responsible" adult I'm supposed to 'just say no'? Fuck that!

Okay... deep breath. As long as I don't ever actually touch one in person I should be safe.

Maybe.

Jesus Christ it's a Lion! Get in the car!

There was no greater genius than DaVinci. And this shit right here proves it.

I am a huuuuug dork.

Of this there can be doubt. The proof? Check out 8 things you didn't know about the Enterprise. But this is not enough. Have an article on the Smithsonian restoration of the original 11 foot prop. Need more? Here are detailed pics of another restoration (there have been three)

Robots

Here are some pics of Robots at MegaCon.

Free at last...free at last...

A few weeks ago I hooked up the new Ooma equipment and tested it out. When I was satisfied that it could workI disconnected it and went forward with porting my number (which takes 7-10 days) so that I could cancel my Verizon (local) and AT&T (long distance) services which have been like a repetitive series of kicks to my groin over the years.

When the email came through I hooked up the equipment again, bought a new cordless phone set and crossed my fingers. While the system worked I wanted to report to you on how well it works. So far its been pretty good. The only difference from the old system is that when you pick up the phone there is a brief chime. Also, calling numbers in another area code required you to push 1 first. Once you are talking, there is a short delay between when something is spoken and when the other party hears it. About a half second. Call sound quality has been mixed. Yesterday my brother called and some of his words were garbled or washed out, but he was on his cell phone, which may have had an effect. When I spoke to my Dad in Massachusetts on his land line it was crystal clear.

The system comes with caller I.D. and my new cordless phones can actually tell you who is calling using this information. Very cool. Both the cordless handset and Ooma have a blacklist feature so you can block calls from certain numbers. This is an AWESOME feature. I used to get three calls a day from satellite tv companies and 4 or 5 from call warrantee companies. This has gone waaaaay down. The Ooma works like a regular answering machine except I can get my messages on line when I am traveling. Nice. To call internationally you have to buy credits, but I don't call internationally very often so I haven't tested this out yet. There are extra features available, like a second line and other goodies if you want to pay about $14 a month.

The old cordless phones, which were showing their age, will be put in the garage and the shop respectively so I can finally get calls there.

The best part? No more local or long distance charges EVAR. Ooma is a one time cost. Do you hear that Verizon?? Huh? Do you know how good if felt to tell AT&T to die in a fire? It felt AWESOME.

A sad confession

I visited some friends in Michigan two weeks ago and came away shaken. Their place, despite having two big dogs, was spotless. It was organized. And while I've always been a bit of a pack rat, I wouldn't say my place is a pig sty.

But it is.

The main part of our house isn't too bad at all. Rossana keeps it pretty neat and clean. But my office? My fortress of solitude whose condition I am solely responsible for? It is, in a word, awful. So I've spent the past week cleaning up. Really cleaning. Throwing out old magazines and paperwork. Cleaning off my desk. Dusting. Filing things.

It's not sexy or exciting work. It does not involve travel to exotic lands or dangerous characters, but it was long overdue. I must admit that a few times I got distracted by looking at art or stories or ideas I was playing with 20 years ago or so. But here was planty of crap too. And it had to go. It's a process I recommend. Cathartic and yet meditative.

Then I looked around the house and I realized that we just hadn't had time during the season to do much more that keep up with the mess generated by our work/lives. Try to keep on top or it. Put stuff away, send off packages, sweep up a little. But in truth the place hadn't been thoroughly cleaned since June.

Since Rossana was having a client over for a past life regression I helped really clean up today. But after a good vacuuming the carpet still looked...unvacuumed. Being a man I new that the only answer was a tool. But I'm tired of renting the rug cleaner from the hardware store. The whole miserable process sucks. Instead, we went on the internets and did some research. In the end we bought a run cleaner at Walmart. In this craptastic economy we've tried to keen a lid on unneeded expenses. But this purchase was am absolute necessity. We called it an x-mas gift for the house.

I ran it over what appeared to be the mostly clean and freshly vacuumed living room carpet. It was not clean. Not by a long shot. The machine extracted buckets of pure evil. I was so excited by the results that I gleefully cleaned most of the carpets in the house. (I am sure the novelty of this task will soon wear off) I swear I will never go a year between carpet cleanings again. Hell maybe I'll do it once a month. You could eat off our carpet now. It's exciting, in a mundane and domestic kind of way.

Ooooooo Shiny..

I will willingly admit that I am a trekker. Despite Voyager and even Enterprise. So when I saw these items I got excited. Wall socket plate covers. Sweet, and pretty cheap over at ThinkGeek.com

Steampunk Con in California

Rossana and I flew out to San Jose to check out the Steampunk scene and see if it's a viable business avenue. We brought along Brass goggles, tshirts and some props but no corsets.

This was a first year con at a small boutique hotel. The hotel was modern, which didn't help the atmosphere but it was comfy. Our room was right on the main floor and no more than a stones throw from the dealers room. You have no idea the schlepping we normally do at a show. It was a joy to get dressed, step out our room door and sit down for breakfast, then walk a few steps and open shop. Heaven.

The con itself was well run and fairly well attended. The thing i loved was how different it felt. Lots of very different and creative costumes. The dealers room was actually interesting to walk through. The people we fun to chat with.

The big event was to have been the inaugural flight on board Americas first passenger Zeppelin in 70 years. Alas, when we arrived the weather was drizzling and the flights were canceled. It was a real bummer.

While there we ate at an Afghan restaurant and it was a delight. The food was amazing and I would encourage you to try it if the opportunity presents itself.

I greatly enjoyed the event. We made enough in sales to pay for the trip and got a lot of cool ideas. They've move the date next year so I don't know if we'll be able to make it. But with luck the East coast will come up with a steampunk con by then.

Here are some pics for you to check out.

I like em big...

So the're a GIANT BALLISTA for sale on ebay. 

I could link to the story about how this was built for the discovery chanel for education blah blah baaaaaah. I think what we need to do is focus on the fact that there is a

GIANT BALLISTA for SALE on EBAY.

Yes, it's in England.

Yes, it's 'As is' and will need alittle work.

Yes it's $35,000

But ASIDE from all that its the perfect gift.

For me.

Update: Oh look, here's a wee little one for only $10,00 here in the US.

I'm off to check my couch cushions  for change.

p.s. Make sure you check out the questions to buyer section on the UK site. Hilarious.

Freakin' EPIC

I learned to day that the following piece of AWESOME weaponry is now available. What could make this thing more cool? Putting it to use in an all out office war. This is one of the few things we didn't do back when I was working for 'the man', but I wish we had.

Have a look.

Sooooo coooooool

Optimus Prime made from scrap metal....

Suprise!

A while back I tossed around the idea of putting up my own Steampunk themed store. Eventually I bought the URL www.got-steam.com. I didn't do much with it as I was too busy and I didn't have enough products to fill it. My partner Thomas makes some great brass goggles but that was about it. This week I finally stopped dragging my feet and started developing the site. I've been working on several products and getting them into the store might be the push I need to complete them.

Well, this morning what do I see on boingboing.net but a pic of Thomas' sweetie at a very cool Steampunk event in London called White Mischief adorned with these selfsame brass goggles and a link to the almost non-existent site.

Crap.

I hit the keyboard and did what I could to get all the assorted steampunk items we've been working on onto the site.

Feel free to go and take a look. The look of the site is minimalistic, this is not so much an artistic choice and a necessity due to a lack of time. I'll go back and start gussying it up this week.

Par-tay!

The date for the Bag End Bash has been set! June 21st starting at around noon or so. I have sent out evites, but my email list may be out of date. If you know me and didn't get an evite you are still very much invited. I am not sending out physical invitations this year. It's just too expensive. I am hoping that this won't affect attendance.

We are planning on setting up the archery range as well as playing Frisbee hack. I might set up a croquet pitch as well. We will supply basic meats and drinks, please bring supplemental food, side dishes and maybe a dessert (cough*pie*cough) . I hope to have the custard machine again thanks to Lindsey.

It's possible that there will be a rack of corsets (some of them made with our amazing new exclusive materials) set up in the garage, but the would merely be a coincidence.

Want to fish? Sure thing. We may even have the remote control Pirate ships available. Want to slack off? Try the hammock.

Need crash space? Contact us ASAP. In house room is usually limited though tent space is plentiful.

In the workshop...

I bought a cheapo video camera for the Germany trip. I am not very impressed with it other than its size. But while I am testing it I thought I would record a brief update on a few projects I am working on in the shop. Enjoy!

What have I done?

I have spoken before about how I am not to be left unsupervised for any reason. This is double so any time I am near shiny objects. So I feel completely comfortable blaming my lovely wife for this entire fiasco. Oh sure , she had nothing to do with it in any direct way. But if I blame myself I'll just stress out and we all know that stress is bad for you, right?

And it's not like I could have resisted the siren-like call even if I HAD any kind of self control (which I do not). Can I be blamed for letting my eyes rest upon the shapely, sexy form that was before me? Could any man have remained faithful. NO I say. There are carnal urges, and they must be sated.

So... I bought and iphone.

It was not something I needed to do. I have a phone and it mostly works. At one time I thought it was powerful and even a little sexy (in a Bill Gates kind of way). The Treo 650 had email, could surf the internet, had a color screen, ran the Palm OS and could sync with my PC. It seemed like the right thing to get. It was pricey. But I told myself that it would allow me to stay in contact while on the road. Indeed, the treo was very handy, mostly as an email device. It saved me and my clients several times when things went wrong with their websites. There were times when using only my phone I corrected settings on a clients website while sitting in a tent in the middle of nowhere during a rainstorm. But lately the spark had gone out of the relationship. It crashed on occasion. I expect this from my PC, but my phone? Yes it ran the Palm OS, but we all know that that like investing in a dodo farm.

The browser was functional but finicky. The notes feature just stopped working. The sync often created duplicate entries in outlook. It was a qwerty keyboard but my fingers are not the nimble digits of a piano player but the meaty paws of a wookie.

I thought it was time my phone and I started seeing other people.

The experience of getting the phone at an AT&T store was more pleasant than I had imagined or read about. It wasn't a paradise with 72 virgins and streams of wine, but it wasn't a red hot poker up the ass either. The young man (I think his name was Bark, or Brad or something) answered my questions. He had an iphone, as did 2 of the other 3 sales people. Two had jailbroken them (hacked them to run unofficial applications).

Then I learned that switching to the iphone with a data plan would actually be $20 a month cheaper than my current plan. Well, hell. In a year it would half-way pay for itself. (This is what passes for rational though in a tech fevered mind).

I bought it and took it home.

Setting up the Treo had been fun in the same way that having someone poke you in the eye is fun. The basic setup was simple enough, but setting up the email failed. I went online and finally tracked down an obscure tech document with clues on how to get email working. It turns out this information had actually be printed up by the helpful sales guy and stuffed in the bag with the phone when I bought the Treo, but AT&T had given me something like 50 pieces of paper with the phone. Manuals, promotions, recipie books, addendum's firmware update info.

When I took the iphone out, I plugged in the dock and stuck the phone in it.

I went through a setup form. It synced my contacts and itunes playlists. I went outside to get signal and in a minute it was activated. My sole interaction was to enter a password for my email and that was it. It just worked. I played with it. Tweaked it. Added a few widgets, moved some icons around on its desktop. All of it intuitively. I never looked at the skinny users guide.

As a former usability person all I can say is that this is simply the best designed device around. Although there is a volume rocker switch on the side and a sleep button on top, they aren't needed. It essentially has ONE button. That's it.

Jacob Neilson masturbates to his iphone.
(and if anyone else other than Ed get that joke, I'm impressed)

Since I try not to use cell phones while driving there have been times that I've needed Rossana to call someone or try to check directions or whatever. This was never a pleasant experience. First you had to push the center button, then tap the screen to unlock it. The either push the phone button or the menu button. You could then use the rocker button to select 'contacts' or push the on screen icon for the virtual keypad. And this was just the phone! It's easy enough if you are comfortable with tech but Rossana eyes tech the way I eye shellfish, as an evil entity that is lying in wait to attack me.

I handed Rossana the phone and had her push its single button. From there, everything else was pretty much self explanatory. Typing on the virtual keyboard takes some getting used to. But it's no slower than the pinheads that the treo had. She smiled.

I snapped a pic of the box and emailed it to my brother. He and I have discussed the iphone back and forth for a while. It's strange that he, who used a Mac for many years is now very attached to a Windows mobile phone. I played with it at his wedding and it is a great phone. It has a slide out keyboard and GPS. It's very nice and I was tempted by it.

But in the end I went for the iphone. After the clunky, asymmetrical block of the Treo I could not resist the sexy black buttonless slab. This is not to say that it is perfect. It has flaws. The most obvious is the fact that standard headphone jacks don't work without an adapter ($5). Flash isn't natively supported. It doesn't have GPS (although it can get a rough fix on your position) and it's not 3G which means it's not as fast when surfing the wb (although it can use wifi, which is sweet). My brother told me I would feel the fool once Apple releases a 3G version this summer. Perhaps. Or I may just sell it on ebay for a profit. This thing is in high demand around the world. Even the sales kid at the store told me that I would be better off ebaying it if I didn't like it than returning it for a 10% restocking fee.

Of course, now that I have it. I have to pay for it. This means I need to clear out my closet. The first two things that have to go are the Treo and my 40 gig ipod. Both have served me well. I used the Treo to Blog about volunteering in New Orleans and travelling through Egypt. The ipod has kept us awake during long drives to shows with audio books from the library. Both work great. The treo's memo function is wonky, but I'm sure resetting it to factory setting will take care of that. I replaced the ipod battery with a new one only five months ago. It's better than the original. If anyone is interested in either drop me a line or leave a comment. I'll give it a week before they go on ebay along with some other stuff.

I'm off to Samarkand..

Actually... I'm not. But if I WAS going to Samarkand or Timbuktu I would want to use this luggage.


It is achingly beautiful, handcrafted and so pricey that by the time I got the luggage I couldn't afford to go to on a day trip to Windsor and play the Nickel slots. They make a great satchel case as well. Still too expensive. Ah... some day...

Taking a deep breath...

Ok, I've calmed down after my previous rant. Watching this video helped. Then I went to this site which has all kinds of pics of microcars. Sweet!

Happy swag day!

Yes, I got some very practical gifts. A winter Tilly hat and some thick socks. I got some books (which I always love). But I have to admit that my two favorite gifts were given to me by my sweetie. One was the Firefly ships papers I blogged about a few days ago. They're lovelier that I could have imagined. The other is a simply massive and completely impractical lock made in India I believe. It takes two keys to open. It's huge! I have NO use for it, but I love it dearly. I am already thinking about how to decorate it with brass and other gunge.

So, what neat swag did you get?

Sweet find...

A week ago or so I visited the local Army/Navy surplus store in Oberlin. I'm looking for bits and bobs for a Steampunk costume and military surplus is sometimes a great resource. I found a cool looking map case for about $12 and a small canvas pouch for $2 that used to be used to carry hand grenades. As I was checking out I felt my Souk Sense tingle. My souk sense is like Peter Parkers Spidey sense but more practical. I don't need to know if Doc Oc is behind me, but I do need to know when something cool is nearby and for sale. That thing was a flintlock pistol sitting on a hook on the wall behind the register.

I casually asked the salesman about it and he said it wasn't real (well Duh) and some guy had traded it in or something. I asked to see it and tried to keep my composure as I checked it over. It wasn't real, but it was a very good reproduction. Made in Spain. Better than the mass produced items available at any ren fair. I had owned a nicer version a few years ago that I picked up in a trade and regrettably sold it at a Pirate event to make sure we broke even. I got $300 for it. This one wasn't near as nice but it was close. Real flint holder, solid barel, mechanism in good shape. I asked if he'd sell it.

"How much you offering?" he asked.

Tough call that, but as he knew nothing of its worth and I had nothing to loose I said "20 bucks".

"Sold" Sweet.

This picture was taken before I did any work on it. I completely disassembled it, sanded the barrel, cleaned up the firing mechanism, ground down the trigger to a smooth finish, polished the brass and treated the wood. Aside from a missing screw (which I replaced) and a cracked ramrod (invisible) it's in top form and looks great.

Knees...getting...weak...

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a certain...weakness... for props and specifically paper ephemera. Maps, documents, old foreign money, deeds. Now some clever monkeys have created some awesome looking props and documents from Firefly.


There are blueprints that look just gorgeous. And the best? A set of official ships papers that are too cool to be believed. We never saw these in the show, just the leather case they were carried in, but these guys have done some awesome work in creating what should have been seen. Alas, they are $120 which is more than I can spend right now. They also look to be creating some other great looking props. If you are a Battlestar Galactica fan (and who in their right mind isn't) you might like to check out their tongue in cheek "How to spot a Cylon poster" for only $20.

Oh how the mighty have fallen...

What would Lord Vader say?

For my first trick...

With the addition of a table saw last year and now the Shopsmith, space has gotten a little tight in the shop. I am hoping to get some retractable casters for the shopsmith so I can roll it out of the way. But that still leaves all the accessories, each of which takes up room and are currently stored in a 'lean it against something else and hope I don't break it' kind of way.

The answer? Build a table. Now I know this thing ain't purty. It's made from the crappiest scrap wood I could find lying around, but it does the job. The table has sets of holes where each of the tools posts slide in keeping them off the ground and easy to get to. It's held together with deck screws, the star pattern kind rather than philips heads and I must say that it was like discovering fire. They are 286% better than using philips, which now seem like crude bits of bone.


I also changed the power switch on the shopsmith. Shopsmith actually has a bunch of cool videos on their site showing you how to do just these kinds of things. Yes I know that swapping out a toggle switch isn't exactly sequencing the human genome but it does involve putting your hand directly into the motor housing, a place hands aren't supposed to go. I managed to scape up my bear size paws pretty good in the process, adding to my sense of accomplishment. After all, it's not a successful shop project unless there's blood involved.

Tool Pron...

Most women and many of those I call "tool impotent" may wish to click away to another site. This posting is about the sexy little number I brought home the other day, and man, can she deliver.

It all started a few weeks ago when I was browsing the toolmonger blog. They have a regular feature called "hot or not" where they ask if a specific tool is worth getting or lives up to its hype. The subject of this hot or not was the Shopsmith Mark V. This is a multi-function tool that first appeared in the 1050's and it's still in production today with almost no changes in funtion or design. The basic model is a table saw, a lathe, a horizontal borer, a drill press and disk sander. BUT, you can add ALL manner of accessories making it a true all in one tool. There was a great deal of debate on whether this was a tool worth investing in, since a new one (base model) is about $2500 and accessories can range from $2-400 bucks each.

Since I don't have a large barrel of money sitting around it seemed a moot point to consider its "hotness". But then I started checking ebay and craigslist. Sure enough, you can find used ones for a LOT less money. Often, they have accessories included. I found mine on ebay. It was bought at an estate sale and the owner was looking to make a quick buck on turnaround. I got it for $600! But wait, it gets more tasty. Included with the base unit was a Jig saw, a band saw (and blades), a joiner, router bits and a sander. Holy crap! All that stuff new would around $4500!!

My friend Ed drove with me out to Pittsburgh to get it and haul it home, a task that took the better part of a day (thanks Ed). I've spent the past 2 days cleaning, aligning and testing it out. So far everything works. The genius of the design is that it's A) Built like a tank and B) It has only one motor and IT is built like a tank. The power switch is a little flaky and the motors variable speed control feels a little off. Luckily parts and service are still available for it to this day. My unit was likely built between 1968 and 1978 and almost any new part or accessory I get today will work on it and there are a LOT of parts for sale on ebay.

I don't have the manual or the woodworking books that came with the unit originally, I may get these from the company. It was also missing the sanding disk, but that's it. Even without the manuals the design is so good that you can figure most things out yourself. I am beyond geeked about this thing. What should I build fist?

Super cool tool system

If anyone happens to win the lottery in the next few months, I would be quite happy to receive one of these as a present. The Mobile-Shop looks pretty damn sweet (even if the website looks like poo). All modular with tons of storage and wheels. It even comes complete with tools, screws, nuts bolts, tape, everything. The weird thing is that it doesn't seem to have storage for many power tools. A storage unit for a cordless drill and circular saw would be nice, as they are what you use 90% of the time during construction projects.

Cool

A lego aircraft carrier.

Very very cool

Anyone here remember the early days of the web browser, or windows 95? Remember how they tried to make "Virtual" malls and "Virtual" desktops? But most of these ideas pretty much sucked. The computer doesn't match up well to real world motifs. Sometimes you need a long list of information. And the graphics power to pull this sort of thing off simply didn't exist.

But I just saw a pretty slick website and set of videos for something called 'Surface' from Microsoft. Some of the things shown in the demo have been played with before in various tech demos available on youtube, but this is the first I have seen a system that takes the desktop metaphor and makes it work. Put your camera on the table, and pictures fall out, grab some and send them to your phone or email them by dragging them with your finger. Browse a restaurants menu and divide the check visually. You pay by placing your card on the table. It recognizes it! The usability here is pretty slick. Date of arrival is Winter 2007 but what does that mean? All kinds of hardware will need to be developed to take advantage of this kind of coolness. But I don't care. This is the future, shiny and full of touch displays that I want.

Good touching

I can't make this stuff up. Thanks to Monkey over at HappyBubble.com

I give you: Busty Mouse Pads

Oddly Hypnotic

This is a small Japanese dancing toy that will dance to any beat you play for it. Honestly, it dances far better than I ever did. In a real word bar situation, it could probably pick up chicks to. Chicks dig cute.

Pirate Season

As Rossana and I loaded the van with stock, racks, dress forms and other sales gear something kept niggling at the back of my mind. Like I was forgetting something.

"I feel like I'm forgetting something dear." I said to my lovely wife.

"Well, you're wearing pants, so you're ahead of the game today".

"True, so it must be something else."

My eyes wandered over to the pond and suddenly I had it. I ran downstairs and checked my Outlook calendar.

"Sweet Blackbeard's ghost! It's the first day of Pirate season!"

Why hadn't I realised it sooner? I immediately eschewed my duties and ran to get my Pirate ship. And after a few minutes of struggling to install batteries I skipped (yes, I skipped) down to the pond.

Behold, the maiden voyage of The Spanish Harlot.




She's a beauty. I tested one of the other ships, but one of the propellers doesn't go forward. I may have to operate. I haven't tested the third yet. And I still have to find a way to change the frequency they use so they don't conflict. But for today it was a shakedown cruise and a chance to scare the fish.

Since I likely won't have time enough to develop actual firing cannons, I'm thinking of having a sort of obstacle course/race at the next Bag End party. Captains will need to steer their ships through a set of buoys, dock at certain islands and avoid cannon fire from shore. I am beyond geeked.

Funniest video EVAR

If you're not familiar with the British show Top Gear you are really missing something. Alas, I can;t get it here but thanks to youtube some of the best of it is available to all.

Dangerocity Part II

With only a few days to go before heading out on the road I managed to get a day set aside for Ballista work with Grimm. Those of you awaiting pictures of us firing flaming projectiles at unsuspecting targets will have to wait.

Our fist order of business was actually fixing my welder. While it wasn't exactly broken, the knob that holds the dial controlling how many thousands of volts are used in the welding process was not holding. After dis assembly we found that the hole for the knob was stripped. Grimm pulled out his tap and die set and I got to tap some bolt holes. A first for me.

Wow, I am actually uncomfortable with reading that.

Anyhow, with repairs made we got down to some serious thinking. The design we are using requires two steel plates to be fabricated. Not having actual plates of steel large enough, Grimm prepared to weld a good dozen smaller pieces of steel together to achieve the same thing.


In my opinion this is like making a windshield from several panes of broken glass. Yes, it might work, no I don't want to be there when its in use. Grimm seemed confident in its structural soundness but it would involve a ton of cutting and welding. Instead I searched the internets and found a company that has a water jet. This VERY cool toy will cut 1/4 inch thick plate steel using a jet of high pressure water. Yes, I asked my wife if I could have one, the answer was no. We fired off the specs and decided to work on shortening the axle.

Out comes our old friend the circular saw. Lots of sparks. I made the second cut but did not have the advantage of long sleeves. Lets just say burning arm hair is not a pleasant smell.



With a 1 foot section removed from the middle of the axle we set up the welding rig outside, where it was bitter cold. Grimm did the welding and a fine job it was. When cool, each of us took turns standing on the axle and so far it has held our weight.



Then...more thinking. Grim has two gears for the winding mechanism. These need to be mounted to a shaft, the shaft needs to be held by several bearings and the center of the shaft needs a drum to wind the draw string onto. We also need to add crank handles. This is by far the most complex part of the operation but we worked out the parts we needed and how we would assemble them. Alas, it was getting late and we didn't have all the tools we needed. We called it a day.

Ahoy! I needs a name!

My new Pirate ship needs a name! Can you help?

(When Rossana's arrives it already has a name "The Crimson Bitch Goddess")

Leave your ideas in the comments section.

What I've been up to

My recent fascination with Steampunk has led me to dream of several outlandish projects. It is a genre ripe for the picking. Not limited by actual science but more by aesthetics and cool factor I have been gripped by a kind of artistic fever that is composed of rivets, gears and polished brass..

As such, I have created The Clockwork Rifle. It is based loosely on the classic Kentucky rifle with a few notable exceptions. There is no pan or striker. Also, I have added a sniper scope.

This is my first effort and is mostly just a prototype. I carved the rifle stock by hand using a draw knife and a lot of sanding. The barrel is grey PVC. Lots of clock bits. The brass flourishes on the side are cut down cabinet hinges, the brass bands are a thin art brass It was a time consuming process as I wanted the parts I used to look like they fit together. I'm not completely happy yet. I still need a trigger guard and possibly a flip out hand crank for winding the 'main spring' that would power such a weapon. This stock is two pieces but I intend to use a much nicer single piece of wood for the next one.

In doing research for this project I discovered that air rifles, that is, actual air powered rifles that could be used for hunting, were in limited production in the 1700's. Lewis and Clark brought one along, mostly to impress the natives.

Comments and criticisms of this project are eagerly sought.

Clockwork rifle

Why can't I use my powers for evil?

It should be ME who bought a 20 foot tall hydraulic dragon that belches smoke and six animatronic trees, not some embezzling hack. Sigh.

It will be mine...

I was doing some research on youtube when I came across a great video of a radio control pirate ship. I have been dreaming of such a thing ever since moving to Bag End. I mean, I have a big pond, and although my original plan of building a full scale pirate ship in said pond did not pan out I could still have 2 ships duke it out. If only such cool toys existed. A google search even a year ago yielded nothing, but thanks to this great little video I found a very cool site: iwantoneofthose.com
Their motto? "Stuff you don't need...but really, really want."

It's like they can read my mind, man.

Check the video and pop over to the site for the toys. These pirate ships are only about $60 delivered. And hey, isn't you birthday coming up Steve? Why yes, I think it is. What a coincidence.

Guns Guns Guns

This post has NOTHING to do with my rant below. I would like to make this perfectly clear. It just so happens that a few days after this post I attended the a gun show in Medina. I've never been to one and was interested to see what they were like. A group of us planned on meeting up at the sight at about 10. Of course THAT didn't happen. I arrived on time and was COMPLETELY UNSUPERVISED. Knowing my exceptionally weak will I drove down the road and window shopped before coming back. Not that this group represented the voice of restraint.

My first impression, after gazing in childlike wonder at all the shiny toys, is that this is a very polite crowd. There were a lot of attendees. You were bound to bump into someone and this was always met with an 'excuse me'. The dealers were polite. The buyers were polite, the people selling hot dogs and pizza were polite. Everyone is polite. I imagine that if you even tried to enter the building looking pissed, you would not make it. This event is all about calm people. Calm people with guns. And that's fine with me.

Next, there are NO booth babes here. This surprised me a little. I'm sure that at the big manufacturers convention's there are plenty of hot chicks displaying big guns. Here? Not so much. The closest that I could find was a middle aged woman with a Semper Fi tattoo that looked like she could punch me senseless. This was a room primarily of white males from the ages of 23-45. I'm sure its hard to find hot women who know the infinite minutia of firearms but that's not the point. The babes draw in people, for photos or autographs, for handouts. This creates a crowd. Crowds buy things. But this is a new field for me and if they aren't doing it, there must be a reason. Still, it was a bit of a drag. 2 huge rooms with guys in drab clothes. And lots of guns.

Homeless guys with guns. At first, I was a bit confused. I kept seeing guys with rifles slung over their shoulders and signs plastered on their chest or taped to their hats. Apparently, these are attendees who are trying to sell off their guns (presumable to buy new guns) but the effect is very strange. "Will sell complete stranger rifle for handfulls of cash".

Did I get anything? I was sorely tempted. Thanks to the ingenuity of the soviets one can buy a Romanian knock-off AK-47 with 2 clips for about $300. That's pretty damn cheap. By comparison a well made pistol costs $4-500 on average. The AK is a very well designed weapon I am told, easy to take apart and pretty accurate. But finances just didn't allow for it. I found a supply of Mosin/Nagant bolt action rifles most likely built in the 50's for under $100. Despite their age they are a well built rifle and can be very accurate with a scope. This is the weapon used by the Russian Hero Vasily Zaytsev . I held off for now. Guns and I still have a few issues to work out. Maybe in the Spring

My last observation didn't come to me until I was driving home and it is this; These people are nerds. You heard me. These gun wielding red-blooded Amuricans are hard core nerds. Read the two following statements:

"The 223 has a range of about 300 yards and a dispersal pattern of about 8 inches. You've only got five shots so you needs to make them count. Penetration is pretty decent with 20 grain. It'll take out just about anything. "

"The magic missile has about a 100ft range (+10ft per level) with a 1d4+1 damage. It'll affect up to 2 creatures in a 10' area. No saving throw, it's a standard action that uses a V and S component."

Are we seeing an similarities? Both of these speakers are about 20lbs overweight and are drinking Mountain Dew though only one of them is wearing a button that says "Assassins do it from behind". I won't tell you which.

This is not to imply that being a gun nerd is a bad thing. It's simply a different kind of nerd. And I guess it made me feel kinda warm and fuzzy to know that we share a common nerd-ness. Unlike the gaming nerds however, I will NOT get into a heated argument with a gun nerd over some trivial technicality. These people have guns, remember? It would not end well.

I hate them...

The very clever monkeys over at Kropserkel provided some of the costumes for this spoof piece. These are some very talented monkeys. Which is why I hate them. I mean it. If these guys die in a fiery place crash I got dibs on EVERYTHING!

Adventures in Lawn Care

So here it is at last. The lawnmower. With it I shall tame the wilderness that is my back yard. I shall fear no weed. My chainsaw and my roundup shall comfort me.

This thing has made my life much easier. It does 80 mph. It can, in fact pop wheelies. I will be speaking with Grimm about chrome exhaust pipes and a turbo charger. Its 0-60 speed is a little sluggish. And yes, I am wearing a John Deere hat. It came with the mower and it gives me mad farmer cred down at Cecils trackside diner. Word.